Ending a relationship when you still love someone

[meatballsandorangejuice]

I’ve been with my DP for approx 2 years, both have dc, both divorced from previous partners.

I love him but I can’t see a way forwards from where we are. My children are demanding, his children are demanding - and I need to be able to give my attention to my kids.
Our relationship has been quite on and off and my dc have nothing to do with my partner as I’ve never felt blending families works terribly well and my middle dc can be tricky.

DP is not always an easy personality and sometimes makes demands on me / my time that I just can’t give right now.

Im feeling very torn and exhausted much of time. I work full time, have 3dcs most of the time and that’s already a lot.

I need to ask for some space but if I do that it’ll blow up and he’ll break up with me anyway. I love him - I do - but I think now perhaps isn’t the time?
How do I go about ending it? I’ve never really broken up with someone I still have strong feelings for before but I don’t feel our relationship is totally healthy if I’m honest.

I need to ask for some space but if I do that it’ll blow up and he’ll break up with me anyway.

It might. But currently expectations and reality don't match up.

I think a really honest conversation about what is realistic for the foreseeable future and whether that's enough for him is warranted. Then he can make up his mind.

Presumably / hopefully you’re not living together?

Oh no - not living together. That has never been on the cards at all.

Seems quite straightforward then

just rip off the plaster!

Just start the chat and be honest and ask for exactly what I need, his reaction will be enough for u to know. Being steady and clear about ur boundaries and your worries will mean he reacts honestly. And if that is him having a knee jerk reaction and finishing with I because he didn’t like it then so he it. It will pave the way for the future that u need.
I have been in This exact situation… and he reacted in such an immature way it sealed the deal. The pain of loosing him was bad but felt easier knowing that I made the right decision.. x

Ask him for a break , you have no hung to lose at this point.

Nothing *

I think you have to talk and if needs be rip off the plaster
it doesn’t sounds like you have the headspace

totally get it !

and it it’s unhealthy thats a major stressor

If his reaction is to throw a tantrum and dump you I think that’s all you need to know really. A mature adult would listen to you and try to find a solution of agree to take some space from each other, if he’s not a mature adult do you really want him?.

If you’re dating someone who behaves like a spout brat every time he doesn’t get his own way then you’re dodging a bullet longer term.