Caring when ex receives some bad news

[insetinsects]

I heard that my abusive ex-husband received some bad news and I can’t stop crying for him. We are very acrimonious and the divorce is relatively fresh - nevertheless it breaks my heart to hear of his difficulties. I don’t want bad things to happen to him. I’ve shocked myself with how protective I feel for him and how upset I am for him. Is this normal?

Yes it is. An abusive relationship is very complicated

Yes its normal

Feelings are complicated.

It's sad when things bad happen to people we once loved.

And thats OK. So long as we maintain compassion for ourselves also.

This person was not worthy of you. They aren't a good human being. But it's still sad to think of them being hurt.

Unlike him, you have empathy.

Just remember, if the same loss happened to you, he would likely find joy in that, not sorrow.

Use this to help you keep in mind he is nothing like you.

It's OK to have compassion. But have it for yourself too first and foremost.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Your posts are really helpful. Thanks.

But...don't let it change anything in terms of going back, excuse for bad behaviour etc x