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Original poster

10+ age gap

17 replies

glowupqueen · 19/08/2023 14:18

Few years ago I worked in a pub I was 38/39 years old, we had a lot of regulars who I got on great with including some guys aged 20 to mid thirties from a local company, I knew at the time one of the guys liked me but I was seeing someone.

So we come to now I'm 43 and haven't worked in the pub for few years and single the guy that liked me has approached me snd asked for a date, he is 33

I spoke to my friend and she thinks it's to much of a gap and he's to young, but couldn't verbalise why she didn't see anything wrong with our friend who is 45 having a husband of 57 (they have been married 27 years)

I would think nothing of dating a man 10 years older than me, is it wrong to date a man that much younger?

OP posts:
Fishpieandchips · 19/08/2023 14:25

Dating - fine.
Anything more - in depth chats needed. As I'd be concerned about if he wanted dc etc.

BlissBlakeney · 19/08/2023 14:33

It's misogyny. No one would bat an eyelid if the bloke were older.

otherwayup · 19/08/2023 14:38

BlissBlakeney · 19/08/2023 14:33

It's misogyny. No one would bat an eyelid if the bloke were older.

Quite!

There was an uproar when I got together with dh. I was 37, him 25. We had friends/family with larger age gaps but due to the man being older that was deemed acceptable.

We politely ignored the hysteria and 15 years later most people seem oblivious that there's an age gap and with time nobody seems to care either!

Original poster
glowupqueen · 19/08/2023 14:43

Oh forgot to mention we both already have children

My ex husband was 8 years older than me but somehow people seem to frown upon it if the woman is older

OP posts:
Tangerinedreams3 · 19/08/2023 14:56

It's fine. Your mutual friend is the one who has it wrong aged 45 with a 57 year old partner! Way too old.
What's not to like about the younger guy.

27penny · 19/08/2023 15:01

Tangerinedreams3 · 19/08/2023 14:56

It's fine. Your mutual friend is the one who has it wrong aged 45 with a 57 year old partner! Way too old.
What's not to like about the younger guy.

How is it wrong.. OP age gap is the same?

cheezncrackers · 19/08/2023 15:03

I don't see a problem with this, particularly as you both have kids, so that pressure is off the table. If you like each other, go for it.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/08/2023 15:13

There is no issue here. Have a lovely time getting to know him.

Scottishskifun · 19/08/2023 15:16

There is no issues at all as long as on the same page!

I have several friends with age gaps even bigger both male and female it's not really for anyone else. The only discussion in early stages has been about children.

AcornHaircut · 19/08/2023 15:22

If he definitely doesn't want any more children then it's not wrong to date him. I do think it's a big age gap for men or women though. I would think he has more in common with a 27 year old than a 43.

RaceToTheMiddle · 19/08/2023 15:25

Just depends on where you are in your life stages.

I met my 2nd husband he was 23, me 33.

We are now 41 (me) and he is 31.
1 shared child and 2 DC which are his stepchildren. Been married for 6yrs.

Age doesn’t really ever come into conversation

CrackSpackle · 19/08/2023 15:36

BlissBlakeney · 19/08/2023 14:33

It's misogyny. No one would bat an eyelid if the bloke were older.

This, 100%.

AcornHaircut · 19/08/2023 15:40

RaceToTheMiddle · 19/08/2023 15:25

Just depends on where you are in your life stages.

I met my 2nd husband he was 23, me 33.

We are now 41 (me) and he is 31.
1 shared child and 2 DC which are his stepchildren. Been married for 6yrs.

Age doesn’t really ever come into conversation

How is a 23 in the same age stage as a 33? I think he was too young.

RaceToTheMiddle · 19/08/2023 15:42

@AcornHaircut because at 23/24 he wanted a partner/ to settle down with a family, I wanted same thing?

Tangerinedreams3 · 19/08/2023 15:45

How is it wrong.. OP age gap is the same?
@27penny
Because men age terribly compared to women and most do not take care of themselves. A generalization but have you seen most late 50s men compared to mid 40s women? There are exceptions, for example guys who are keen on fitness.
The mutual friend is likely to end up being a carer for the older male partner.

littlemisspetite · 19/08/2023 15:53

Nothing wrong with that at all, do what makes you happy! X

27penny · 19/08/2023 15:54

Tangerinedreams3 · 19/08/2023 15:45

How is it wrong.. OP age gap is the same?
@27penny
Because men age terribly compared to women and most do not take care of themselves. A generalization but have you seen most late 50s men compared to mid 40s women? There are exceptions, for example guys who are keen on fitness.
The mutual friend is likely to end up being a carer for the older male partner.

Oh i see what you mean but its not wrong. Just not what you'd be into. That's different. That 57 year old could be in great shape 🤷🏻‍♀️

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