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Relationships

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Original poster

Husband Vegas holiday

19 replies

MarisaJ · 19/08/2023 13:48

Hi all so my husband has a best friend who he knew before he even met me and has always gone to Las Vegas with him every year for a week. He said he was going for the last time last year before we got married but since then we now have a child together. He dropped the bombshell the other week that his friend has booked for them to go to Vegas again next May so our LO will be 14 months old. My question is am I being unreasonable for feeling upset and angry at him for wanting to leave me and his LG to go on his ‘lads’ holiday again?

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 19/08/2023 13:51

I wouldn’t mind as long as you get a weeks holiday if you want it whilst he looks after the baby - he shouldn’t have told you one thing and done another though

Whattodo112222 · 19/08/2023 13:53

I wouldn't begrudge it if it was a friend he knew before you got together. However, as PP said I would make sure you get a week away too.
You can't really force him to want to stay with you both either.
Is it a trust thing or just that you're upset he wants to go?

rookiemere · 19/08/2023 13:56

What is your financial situation with regards to splitting funds?

Putting everything else aside, a week to Las Vegas is likely to cost at least £2k which is a lot of money.

rookiemere · 19/08/2023 13:56

And yes if he told you he wasn't going and changed his mind without checking with you in advance, that's pretty bad.

Lovesgreen · 19/08/2023 13:58

His friend has booked for them to go?! Like he didn't have anything to do with the holiday being booked, agree to the dates etc?! I think the way he has gone about it is wrong. He should have discussed with you first so you could agree what you were happy with i.e perhaps 4 nights instead of a week is enough to leave you doing 100% childcare with a very young child. We have always still gone away with our friends since having children but never without discussion and agreement. I didn't want to leave mine when they were very young but didn't mind my DH planning a few nights away. We all need a change of scenery, to see friends and relax once in a while.

FrenchandSaunders · 19/08/2023 14:00

It’s good to have breaks away from each other if you can afford it. Do you trust him? Will you also get away with friends another time?

Maddy70 · 19/08/2023 14:00

If a you can afford it and b, you get a week with your friends too I would have no issue

TeenLifeMum · 19/08/2023 14:02

I’d be upset. I waited until youngest dc were in year 6 before I went away with friends more than one night. At 14 months I’d want to be certain finances could support it and I had equal freedom although not sure I’d want to go away from dc at that age. Have you had a nice holiday as a family?

itsmyp4rty · 19/08/2023 14:07

Nah I wouldn't be having that. Mind you I wouldn't marry someone who went to Vegas every year on a lads holiday. It's such a sleazy place, prostitution is rife. Men are constantly handing out cards with women for sale on them. He also told you it was going to stop and obviously lied as now he's going again, without even consulting you and blaming it on his mate booking it - as if he didn't know. I wouldn't trust him for a second.

Aprilx · 19/08/2023 14:16

I think he should not have announced it as a done deal, but should have asked if you minded. And if the family can afford it, I don’t think it is that bad really so long as you get a treat as well.

Laurdo · 19/08/2023 14:24

Lovesgreen · 19/08/2023 13:58

Exactly this. I wouldn't have an issue with him going, but with booking it before discussing it with me. I'd be expecting a few days at a spa or something with my friends while he looks after the baby.

GoodChat · 19/08/2023 14:28

Tell him to just not bullshit you in future.
Him going is fine if he can afford it.

AgentJohnson · 19/08/2023 16:16

He fed you line and probably had no intention of not going. The issue isn’t Vegas, the issue is he probably lied about not going again and him expecting you to be the default parent when he’s off on a jolly. Children rarely change the behaviour of entitled fuckers.

TropicalTrama · 19/08/2023 16:34

Assuming that it’s affordable without the family going without and also you’ll also have the opportunity to do your own trip then I’d have no issue whatsoever. The issue is the bullshit and the being sneaky about it so I’d be telling him to the cut the crap immediately or else.

Louoby · 19/08/2023 20:01

I would be miffed too! I wouldnt kick up a fuss on the proviso it's not going to effect you financially and you get at least a weekend away with your friends and a family holiday. His boys trip shouldn't be at the detriment of the above.

Takeabreather23 · 19/08/2023 20:05

He lies to you before you get married and before you have a child together. Then your tied and with a baby and he picks up
his single life and sneaks and lies about it.

Id be single by the time he returned back .

GrumpyPanda · 19/08/2023 20:13

Tell him you've already booked a girls trip that week so he'll have to take LO along with him.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 19/08/2023 20:31

I would not be happy at that at all especially since he said Vegas would stop now. As someone else has said Vegas is all sleazy and would not be happy with partner/husband going while I was at home with a 14month old baby. Not fair at all and very selfish, he is acting like he is still single going off to Vegas. Have you had a holiday this year. Have you met this friend at all and what is he like. Do you trust him? Can you get a week away in the sun or somewhere nice and leave him with the baby, see how he likes it.

KentLife01 · 20/08/2023 00:50

I've been to Vegas several times with my husband and of course it has it's sleezy side but there is so much more to it than that. It's an amazing place that I could go back to year after year. I think I might question more whether there's a gambling habit to be aware of. I won't lie, there is a high possibility that they'll be a visit or two to a strip club whilst they're there, but they would need a lot of money if they were going for really shady reasons.

I can't see for one second that your husband's friend booked the trio off his own back without asking about dates first, and knowing you have a new baby and how expensive that can be, asking whether he could even afford to go. I think he might be extending the truth here!

Like others have said, I wouldn't have an issue with my husband going away with friends as long as I knew it wasn't sacrificing a family holiday. I'd also want that girls trip or if you didn't want to leave the baby for too long, a spa day with an overnight stay. I think if he can afford to go it shouldn't be an issue. We all need space and activities away from our other halves. Like the majority of people have said, I don't believe his reasons behind the trip being booked in the first place and that's why I would be pissed off about that more than anything else!!

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