Hi
I don’t think I have posted before but been on mumsnet a long time just reading.
If anyone recognises me from real life, please don’t mention anything.
My husband left me last year after a long marriage. That is a long story in itself but not for now.
A couple of months after he left, I was feeling lonely and stupidly signed up to an online dating site.
Have chatted to and met a few guys, all fine but also deep down aware that I’m not ready to move on to anything serious.
So have enjoyed a few dates but nothing beyond that .
November time I went on a date with someone. We had a nice evening but at the end he said he wouldn’t be persuing anything. I was a bit disappointed but mainly I think because I wanted to be with someone, not about him personally. (I wasn’t in a place to be even thinking of someone new but didn’t realise that at the time)
Anyway, not sure how it happened but we have ended up in a casual sex situation. Not something I thought I’d ever do. But it has definitely worked for me. To be honest it was slightly more FWB but Feb time, I pushed for it to be more casual and just sex (not really sure why).
So since early December we have probably hooked up on average once a week.
My problem is over last couple of months I realised I have started to like him more and want to get to know him better. I’ve not said as much but he is good at always checking in that I’m ok with it being so casual and there are no expectations beyond that. Stupidly, I’ve lied and said that casual is just what I want too (think I have been a bit in denial myself). It’s clear that is all he wants.
My question is what do I do now? I think I either need to stop having sex with him or find a way to stop the feelings. But I don’t want to stop the sex and don’t know how to stop the feelings 😬
I should be clear, I don’t want anything serious right now. Just to get to know him more and not just have a quick evening of sex with nothing else once a week or there abouts.
Any advice? (Sorry for the long post)