I will try and keep this short. My partner has been very distant lately and various things in his personal life seem to have got him down.
There's alot wrong in his life if I'm honest. I've got to a point where I can see we won't be long term. It's just not flowing. He is impossible to communicate with and he gets wound up so fast and is prone to silent treatments and aggressive with words.
Recent events have made me feel he's fallen back into old amd bad patterns. I wanted to explain what I've noticed and you say what you honestly think. If you think I'm paranoid then please be honest.
So we were together a while ago but we broke up. He hadn't gotten over his last relationship who he'd cheated on and lied to alot. From what I can establish he spent a large chunk of their relationship online chatting to old female school friends etc. This eventually led to alot of issues and I think that coupled with his bad spending and drinking pushed her away. In the first year I knew him I felt he was behaving similar online and we split up.
When he got back in touch a year later he had got rid of all social media. He was never on his phone and he seemed to have done the work. He hasn't drank for 3 years either. So I gave him another chance. Whilst things have been difficult there's been no suspicions of women. Infact we've got so much closer this time physically and emotionally. We seemed to be headed somewhere better. July was a great month until around the 25th. He woke up late for work one day and lost half a weeks work. He spiralled into a bad mood and a deep depression. I ended up being snapped at. Pushed away and left confused. He didn't see me for 9 days and I was genuinely worried about his mental health the whole time..I was patient. Kind. Educated myself on depression etc. When we last saw eachother several things worried me.
He told me he was too tired for sex after not seeing me for 9 days. I said I am not coming onto you I just want to cuddle up. He said it was my job to come onto him, nobody else wants To! (Strange comment)
I heard his phone buzz early in the morning. When he woke up he seemed to shift away from me and over explained being on his phone. I could see him typing.
The next evening we did sleep together but he was awake all night in and out smoking and taking his phone. He sent me a photo in his boxers and said he'd took it earlier for me..it really didn't feel it was for me.
The next night I felt unwell and he was keen to take me home. Usually he'd offer to tuck me in and look after me. He was awake all night again after dropping me off (this is common as he has chronic depression and pain)
He picked me up the day morning and he ended up sleeping from 2pm until the next day..absolutely pointless me being there.
When he got up Monday for work he twirled his phone in his hand like he was over thinking going on it..he didn't mention who he was replying to.
I confronted him and he denied it. He said he was hurt I thought it..
All week we argued. Split up. He refused to listen. Then Friday we were OK. Saturday night instagram sent me a notification at 1am saying boyfriends name from my contacts was now on Instagram. I clicked on it and he's following a local woman. I rang him and somehow he turned it onto.me being wrong and paranoid.
We Was meant to meet tomorrow to talk and I've looked tonight to see another woman locally has now got him following her off that account. She's followed him back. I contacted him and was met again with Denial. He's told me he's done with me which is fine..the relationship is a mess now. But surely he's lying about this account? How likely is it that his phone number made the account. Its in his name but not him?
I don't get it?