I had PND and anxiety three years ago after our youngest DC was born in the midst of lockdown. I was seriously isolated (we live away from my family but they weren’t legally allowed to travel to visit at that point anyway) and baby groups obviously weren’t running so I just felt helpless and seriously lonely. DH was not much help at all, he just didn’t know how to deal with it and it made me feel even lonelier. I didn’t want to burden him with my shit anyway tbh so tried not to talk about it much but it was probably obvious I wasn’t feeling great. He was WFH throughout and added a lot of pressure insisting I kept a baby and toddler quiet which really did not help. I barely left the house during lockdown anyway but even after it ended, I still didn’t want to leave. It was a really dark period I don’t want to return to.
Anyway, I eventually reached out for professional help. Had counselling for a few months over the phone and I realised I was the only one who could realistically help myself so I started running, lost a lot of weight and have felt better ever since. Been better for about 18 months, I feel really good.
Now DH is saying he’s depressed. Absolutely no trigger for his depression whatsoever. No one has died, he hasn’t given birth, lost his job, nothing tragic or particularly stressful has happened whatsoever. Just says he’s depressed and can’t fix it. I’ve told him to contact the GP for help so he’s done that but I just wanted to vent on here because I don’t know what on Earth to do about how triggering I’m finding it.
I know it’s selfish but his moping around, constant sad face, distant nature, not eating or wanting to wake up in the morning etc is seriously triggering for me and it’s just dragging my mental health down. I’m getting up each day, doing my work out routines, eating well and doing everything I can to keep healthy mentally but he’s just skulking around all of the time and it’s dragging me down. I’ve tried my best to help him and haven’t told him he’s making me feel this way obviously. I’m just reaching out for advice really because I don’t know how to get around this.
It’s hard to overcome depression and then suddenly have to live with a depressed person. I think it’s worse because I feel I’ve always been the one picking up most of the slack around the house and with DC which is only getting worse now he’s waiting until the last minute to get out of bed and then just sort of sitting around not helping. I don’t know what to do, I guess I just wanted to vent and ask for some advice.