Birthday Rant

[Wenfy]

The past few years my parents have hosted big family celebrations for all of my siblings’ (and their spouse’s) birthdays (to which I’m expected to attend and contribute) except for me / DH. There’s always an excuse - they booked holiday, or there’s another event, or my siblings can’t make it and there’s never any effort to organise it another day. Something that never happens for the others - their birthdays are ALWAYS celebrated even if 2-3 weeks out.

This year there isn’t even an excuse - they just can’t be bothered. DH said he’ll organise something then ask them to attend but even he’s getting fed up because he knows they’ll just come up with another excuse. I never get a card or a gift - just a text if they remember.

I am the Scapegoat so I should be used to this by now. But it still hurts.

I'm sure it does still hurt - that is truly awful behaviour from your parents. Your siblings are going along with it too?

That is awful behaviour

Where do you fit in the family/siblings age gap wise?

What would happen if you just went LC with them?

This is not right OP. Honestly I wouldn’t be attending events for others when they never do anything for you, LC.

How do your siblings feel about this?

Do they recognise the golden child/scapegoat relationships?

If so why are they going along with it?

I'd cut them all off tbh.

Op thats so mean. I wouldnt be going to theirs considering zero fuss for you. Its mean spirited of them

Why contribute to their parties? Don’t be a mug. They are acting dreadfully.

I have raised it with my family before. My siblings definitely do recognise this and make comments about it - but it’s like it’s a family joke. After saying no to all my husband’s plans, using all kinds of excuses, my parents actually went out with my brother for a slap up meal instead of celebrating my birthday. That hurt a lot.

I think I definitely won’t be around for their celebrations any more.

I read this on Friday and was absolutelydisgusted. Your family are a disgrace.
Do not celebrate any of their birthdays and do not give a penny to any presents moving forwards.
Concentrate on spending on your own celebrations and presents.

Fuck them all - they're an absolute disgra

Disgrace!

Pressed post too soon I was so cross!!!

That’s just horrible, OP. I’m so sorry they’re behaving appallingly. It’s also bizarre, too. Do you have any idea why they behave like this? Did they treat you unfairly in comparison with your siblings when you were growing up?

It’s borderline abusive to single you out like this. Your husband sounds like a decent person and as such probably can see what they’re like and wants to protect you from them.

Crap behaviour of them and they should be call out on it just horrible.

Don’t ever celebrate theirs again! Not a birthday or special occasion. I wouldn’t even get involved at Christmas!

Wow, what nasty gits! I’m stunned they could do this.

You have literally nothing to lose by cutting ties with these people, and everything to gain. You have your own family, and you can create a proper family with them. One that's loving and caring and respectful.

Walk away and feel the weight lift!

This is horrible, I am so sorry to hear they are treating you like this. I would minimise the contact, decline any invitations and simply not bother. When they ask you why you not attending etc I would be frank with them and tell them you cannot be bothered anymore.

Fuck those fuckers! So something amazing with DH and enjoy your time with him.

The best revenge is living your life. Forget about them and pour your love and energy into those who deserve it.

Happy birthday for whenever it is ⭐🎁🤗