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Relationships

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Flip

Original poster

Help to understand a text !

19 replies

Stella43 · 18/08/2023 07:02

I had a brief fling with someone I had strong feelings for.
Anyway I sent his a message 2 days ago suggesting we leave it at that and a question mark and he responded this morning no not automatically 🫶 (English is not his first language) now what am I supposed to make of that ?

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 18/08/2023 07:03

Sounds like he wants to keep you dangling.

5128gap · 18/08/2023 07:44

That he can't even be bothered to waste his words on you, either to agree or disagree that it ends.
No idea whether he wants to continue or not, but if I waited two days and got that as a response it wouldn't matter either way, as it would be me not wanting to waste any more of my time.

Anothernamethesamegame · 18/08/2023 07:58

No one can tell you what he means by his text. However it is clearly a very limited text that suggests he doesn’t care that much about you.

Why are you suggesting you leave the relationship? Is that what you want? I think the lack of clarity in his text is also partly because your text was a bit vague- from his perspective he could think you don’t want to continue anything with him, because you suggested leaving it?

Changeling78 · 18/08/2023 07:59

Is say that it meant he agrees with you. Nicer than a thumbs up I suppose.

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/08/2023 08:00

Well, he doesn't want you enough to write a full text does he? He could have said oh no please, let's continue with the relationship… He didn't.

sunshineandshowers40 · 18/08/2023 08:02

He saying ok.

WunWun · 18/08/2023 08:06

So you said "Shall we leave it at that?" And he said "No not necessarily (heart hands)" ?

I would take that as he doesn't want to leave it at that? But he's said it in a very wishing washy way.

I'd say "Sorry, could you clarify what you mean?"

ElizaWinter · 18/08/2023 08:12

I'd leave it

ChrisPPancake · 18/08/2023 08:56

If you want it to be over it's over. But your question mark was ambiguous so he responded in kind.

FOJN · 18/08/2023 09:18

What was the point of your original text? Was it a fishing expedition to find out how much he was into you?

You have the agency to end the fling or to tell him you have stronger feelings and would like it to develop into something more.

You sent an ambiguous text and received the same in response.

You either leave it or you speak to him with total honesty and accept that the second option runs the risk of him telling you he doesn't feel the same.

If you want something more then this was not the most helpful way to communicate your wishes.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 18/08/2023 09:20

FOJN · 18/08/2023 09:18

What was the point of your original text? Was it a fishing expedition to find out how much he was into you?

You have the agency to end the fling or to tell him you have stronger feelings and would like it to develop into something more.

You sent an ambiguous text and received the same in response.

You either leave it or you speak to him with total honesty and accept that the second option runs the risk of him telling you he doesn't feel the same.

If you want something more then this was not the most helpful way to communicate your wishes.

Totally agree with this.

I didn’t understand your original text so I am not surprised you got an ambiguous answer.

Just be clear with him.

catsnhats11 · 18/08/2023 09:22

He can't be bothered to write a proper message of more than three words (or have a conversation).

He 100% doesn't have "strong" feelings for you, move on and find someone better.

5128gap · 18/08/2023 09:27

No woman should be taking to the Internet so strangers can dream up scenarios where a two day delay followed by an emoji might mean a man is into her.
You know this response is not something someone as keen on you as you deserve would make. What does it matter if its leaving the door open a crack or throwing you a crumb rather than an outright rejection? It's not good enough, is it?

JibbaJab · 18/08/2023 09:28

I would say as you put it as a question and his first language isn't English, he's saying 'no, not necessarily' to ending the relationship.

Anothernamethesamegame · 18/08/2023 09:30

FOJN · 18/08/2023 09:18

What was the point of your original text? Was it a fishing expedition to find out how much he was into you?

You have the agency to end the fling or to tell him you have stronger feelings and would like it to develop into something more.

You sent an ambiguous text and received the same in response.

You either leave it or you speak to him with total honesty and accept that the second option runs the risk of him telling you he doesn't feel the same.

If you want something more then this was not the most helpful way to communicate your wishes.

This^ both messages were as clear as mud

GreenAventurinee · 18/08/2023 09:34

He’s keeping you on good terms on the back burner I recon.

itsmyp4rty · 18/08/2023 11:51

I'm as confused by you as I am by him. Do you no longer have strong feelings for him? Why are you ending things with him but making it into a question? What answer exactly did you want?

If he's playing hot and cold and stringing you along then you need to just tell him it's not working for you and it's over. Don't make it into a question as that just makes you look desperate and like you're playing games trying to make him want you. His reply suggests that communication is not either of your strong suit and this would probably be better off ending now.

Whataretheodds · 18/08/2023 11:54

Your OP is confusing. Why not just copy and paste the actual texts?

If you have strong feelings for him why did you suggest ending it?

Original poster

Stella43 · 18/08/2023 14:43

We don’t live close to each other and although we wanted to see each other I felt he was a bit flaky hence the text. I’ve been clear about my feelings and if I sent the last text it’s because I don’t want my feelings hurt by wasting time on someone who’s not bothered

OP posts:

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