Is he being thoughtful or stringing me along?

[Newnessnew]

Been seeing this guy for a over a year, things seemed to have progressed and we get on great etc. However he does not reach out to me, he leaves it all in my court and makes himself free when I am free, his reason being that I have a 8 yo child. He does not even send a message asking if I'm free on such a date or anything, nothing at all. He will not contact me and waits til I contact him. It makes me doubt his interest in me when we are not together. However at other times I feel that he is just as keen as me. He has a busy career and I do know that he would not make himself free ever single time that he does if he was not interested. But I still find it frustrating and it still makes me doubt him.

What do you make of this?

He is just really really laid back I suspect. Some people are like this and it bugs the hell out of me personally, as you want to know someone is into you. It might be time for a chat with this guy, cards on the table time - just ask him if he is really bothered .

You’ve been seeing him for over a year - just ask. Ask him. If you’ve already asked and he has responded “you have an 8 year old child, I am respecting that,” then believe him.

if you’d like him to be more proactive sometimes, then tell him that if he made some plans or got in touch, it would mean a lot to you. Just communicate

Knowing myself I'd probably do an experiment of not texting and seeing how long he would 'respect me' for. Theres respect and then there's a lack of initiative/interest/laziness.

Like a pp said, have you communicated this to him.

Have you actively asked him to message you to be proactive and message you asking when you are free so he can set uo dates and make an effort too?

That is the first thing you should do. And if he cares about you he will. If he doesn't then you have your answer. Don't waste your time on a man that can be arsed. Effort is everything.

Yes I have communicated this to him. However he believes he knows best in regards to my children. I feel it is lack of interest on one hand but then I think why would he jump and move things around to see when when I tell him when I will be free?

Rule I've learned the hard way, mixed signals are a no