Unhappy in my relationship, NEED ADVICE.

georgiamae98 · 2023-08-17T22:34:55+00:00

I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 6 years and we have a 4 year old daughter . For a long time I have been depressed but have blamed myself for reasons of feeling this way, but recently it came to head that my partner admitted to a secret drink problem. Which I now know had a massive impact on how I was feeling, we spent 2 months living separately but he didn't give me space. He is now 3 months sober and has moved home acting as if everything is fine and normal again but I am not happy! I feel trapped in the relationship, he is very unconsciously controlling and makes me feel guilty for wanting to do things for myself and kicks up a fuss about it and I feel like I have just got tired of his behaviour. I look at him and think you are attractive and you're such a loved father but I just don't have those intimate feelings for him now.

ManicMum2023 · 18/08/2023 06:06

Men are hard work and I know how you feel.

I took suffered from post natal depression after my third child but I realized after it was because of men in my life. My husband being a lazy git and also not growing up and having weed every night and a relative who was an idiot and thought he could constantly disrespect me and he was the one who owed me money and was sending illegal packages to my house!

Men are a waste of space! They think they can do what they want when they want!

I ended up kicking my husband out and then when he returned he did a lot more around the house and reduced his drug habit but I know how you feel, what is the point when they allowed you to get depression and that state and constantly taking advantage!!

They obviously don't have any respect if they treat you like that.

My husband is trying and does a lot of house work. My have now given him back the diy list which I reduced form 50 to now 8 things but I can see the list is growing larger and I will end up with a list of 50 things again.

Men are just full of excuses and bullshit half the time.

My husband does the laundry now, sorts children's dinner sometimes that's making it fresh or heating up food from the fridge already made by my mum or leftovers, does the school drop offs and washes the dishes and loads and unloads the dishwasher

Yesterday we got into a fight yesterday I was being a bitch the other day because his presence was annoying me and the fact that I had all this mental load and he was doing nothing about it just letting the visits get longer. Also I am working full time and watching the kids whilst working so not getting any work done so I had to sit in a pub and work all evening. The next morning he was fuming and said go and work upstairs if that's all you can think about and care about and he kept on going on and on and I snapped and told him to go to hell! Then he said he was already in hell!! That has stuck in my head now and I am no longer talking to him!

I am not keeping him here.. he can go if he wants to. After that outburst I flipped and said you want a fight first thing in the morning and flipped and he only stopped when I said do you want me to go back on the meds!

Then I cried all day and could not work so just had a shower and cried in the shower.

Then took boys football, and he was saying I was going to take them but I just left the house.

I really cannot stand him and how he is making my life difficult!

ManicMum2023 · 18/08/2023 06:07

But I know what you mean about the depression and how you feel your partner has caused it!

I bet you were very positive and happy before the depression

I don't understand why men think they can be such pricks and us to go back to normal

DustyLee123 · 18/08/2023 07:05

Just end it, he’ll soon be drinking again anyway.

Original poster

georgiamae98 · 18/08/2023 08:00

ManicMum2023 · 18/08/2023 06:06

Men are hard work and I know how you feel.

I took suffered from post natal depression after my third child but I realized after it was because of men in my life. My husband being a lazy git and also not growing up and having weed every night and a relative who was an idiot and thought he could constantly disrespect me and he was the one who owed me money and was sending illegal packages to my house!

Men are a waste of space! They think they can do what they want when they want!

I ended up kicking my husband out and then when he returned he did a lot more around the house and reduced his drug habit but I know how you feel, what is the point when they allowed you to get depression and that state and constantly taking advantage!!

They obviously don't have any respect if they treat you like that.

My husband is trying and does a lot of house work. My have now given him back the diy list which I reduced form 50 to now 8 things but I can see the list is growing larger and I will end up with a list of 50 things again.

Men are just full of excuses and bullshit half the time.

My husband does the laundry now, sorts children's dinner sometimes that's making it fresh or heating up food from the fridge already made by my mum or leftovers, does the school drop offs and washes the dishes and loads and unloads the dishwasher

Yesterday we got into a fight yesterday I was being a bitch the other day because his presence was annoying me and the fact that I had all this mental load and he was doing nothing about it just letting the visits get longer. Also I am working full time and watching the kids whilst working so not getting any work done so I had to sit in a pub and work all evening. The next morning he was fuming and said go and work upstairs if that's all you can think about and care about and he kept on going on and on and I snapped and told him to go to hell! Then he said he was already in hell!! That has stuck in my head now and I am no longer talking to him!

I am not keeping him here.. he can go if he wants to. After that outburst I flipped and said you want a fight first thing in the morning and flipped and he only stopped when I said do you want me to go back on the meds!

Then I cried all day and could not work so just had a shower and cried in the shower.

Then took boys football, and he was saying I was going to take them but I just left the house.

I really cannot stand him and how he is making my life difficult!

I know he is really trying his hardest to change and prove he isn't the person he was when he was drinking but I'm just so worn down now.
It is my birthday tomorrow and he said something about going out and buying me a gift and I was like it's okay I don't want anything, I don't want to celebrate, then he questioned me and I said well I'm miserable. And he's now stormed off to work because he turns it all round on him as in well it must be me to make you feel like that then cries about it.

OP posts:

ManicMum2023 · 18/08/2023 08:25

georgiamae98 · 18/08/2023 08:00

I know he is really trying his hardest to change and prove he isn't the person he was when he was drinking but I'm just so worn down now.
It is my birthday tomorrow and he said something about going out and buying me a gift and I was like it's okay I don't want anything, I don't want to celebrate, then he questioned me and I said well I'm miserable. And he's now stormed off to work because he turns it all round on him as in well it must be me to make you feel like that then cries about it.

Show quote history

You should let him buy you a present and take you out and see if that cheers you up.

See how much effort he is putting in.

He seems like my husband trying but when you are so fed up and so much has happened you are exhausted and know it is a matter of time before he pisses you off again

Original poster

georgiamae98 · 18/08/2023 08:29

ManicMum2023 · 18/08/2023 06:06

Men are hard work and I know how you feel.

I took suffered from post natal depression after my third child but I realized after it was because of men in my life. My husband being a lazy git and also not growing up and having weed every night and a relative who was an idiot and thought he could constantly disrespect me and he was the one who owed me money and was sending illegal packages to my house!

Men are a waste of space! They think they can do what they want when they want!

I ended up kicking my husband out and then when he returned he did a lot more around the house and reduced his drug habit but I know how you feel, what is the point when they allowed you to get depression and that state and constantly taking advantage!!

They obviously don't have any respect if they treat you like that.

My husband is trying and does a lot of house work. My have now given him back the diy list which I reduced form 50 to now 8 things but I can see the list is growing larger and I will end up with a list of 50 things again.

Men are just full of excuses and bullshit half the time.

My husband does the laundry now, sorts children's dinner sometimes that's making it fresh or heating up food from the fridge already made by my mum or leftovers, does the school drop offs and washes the dishes and loads and unloads the dishwasher

Yesterday we got into a fight yesterday I was being a bitch the other day because his presence was annoying me and the fact that I had all this mental load and he was doing nothing about it just letting the visits get longer. Also I am working full time and watching the kids whilst working so not getting any work done so I had to sit in a pub and work all evening. The next morning he was fuming and said go and work upstairs if that's all you can think about and care about and he kept on going on and on and I snapped and told him to go to hell! Then he said he was already in hell!! That has stuck in my head now and I am no longer talking to him!

I am not keeping him here.. he can go if he wants to. After that outburst I flipped and said you want a fight first thing in the morning and flipped and he only stopped when I said do you want me to go back on the meds!

Then I cried all day and could not work so just had a shower and cried in the shower.

Then took boys football, and he was saying I was going to take them but I just left the house.

I really cannot stand him and how he is making my life difficult!

Exactly! I know he is trying so hard but I think in my head it is all something like fake!

OP posts: