NC with coparent

[whatthefuckisnext]

Honestly I'm done with my horrible ex. Every chance he gets he's berating me, insulting me, drove past me with my niece in the car making obscene.gestures, the list goes on. DD1 lives with me and hates him but sees him through necessity for a range of reasons. He has dd2 brainwashed and she spends a lot of Time with him, sleeping there most nights at the moment. I cannot continue letting this man control my life and verbally abuse me. How do you coparent and not have to communicate with these people. He is ruining my life. I'm about to move out of our marital home and buy my own, I want a clean break. Dds are struggling in life so I don't see how this can work but it needs to, he's destroying my life. Any tips?

Hi, sorry sounds awful. 💐

I've found the police pretty woeful with my ex but I think it is worth you logging a 101 with them to be honest. Summarise the pattern of behaviour and its effect on you.

Other than that, Google the 'grey rock' method. It's hard but try not to react to his shitty behaviour.

Have you also got a local domestic abuse charity who can help you, or Women's Aid?

Hopefully things will calm down. Give it a little time.

Move to your new house, settle in, and set up a single means of communication. An email address just for him. Check it once a day (or once a week). Don't respond to anything except specific questions about dc.

Block him everywhere else. And then go grey rock. Who cares if he insults you or makes obscene gestures - the only person who looks stupid, vulgar and ignorant is him. Anytime he indulges in that sort of behaviour, just blank him. Or stare at him in distaste and walk away.

He is no longer relevant to you in any way. He's just a knob you used to know.

It sounds like your dcs are old enough to organise their own contact as they wish. I think you just focus on creating a new life for yourself that he has never had any part in. New favourite places, close to your new house, new neighbours, new home.

Clean break. Don't rely on him financially - this is the last form on control he will have over you.

Only talk about the children's needs and nothing else.

Good luck OP.

3rd party? I don’t speak to my ex he has the kids direct numbers guess it depends how old they are if not 3rd party.