How long before being introduced to partners children?

[Drummend01]

How long into a relationship would you consider reasonable to be introduced to partners child (8 year old) who lives with them 50% of the time?

Great coparenting relationship but haven’t been together since toddler stage and child has only been introduced to one other partner at 4-5 years old that they don’t really remember

I would want to know that the man isn’t playing at being the person he portrays himself as! I’ve been in an abusive relationship (and grew up in an abusive environment) It usually takes at least a year for the ‘mask’ to slip and for the violent/abusive behaviour begin to emerge - this isn’t just my opinion this is a well known statistic known by Women’s Aid, IDAS & the NCDV

@KatesCoke They are spending that year or 2 getting to know the partner.....ya know, the one they're meant to be in a relationship with....!

As I've just posted above - I would want to know that the man isn’t playing at being the person he portrays himself as! I’ve been in an abusive relationship (and grew up in an abusive environment) It usually takes at least a year for the ‘mask’ to slip and for the violent/abusive behaviour begin to emerge - this isn’t just my opinion this is a well known statistic known by Women’s Aid, IDAS & the NCDV

I'm just going to leave this here.... (Yes I realise it refers to the USA but it's still valid)

That’s a different matter. My view, as a step parent is that it’s not ideal to wait so long before meeting the kids. I was a childless woman and didn’t really get the rounded view of my husband and how his life and the dynamics of blended family life would look until I met his child.

Should we treat single parents with suspicion too?

@AlfietheSchnauzer firstly, Im not sure what you’re suggesting with that statistic. As shocking as it is, it has no relevance to my questions as I am not a child abuser

Secondly, I would never expect or want to be left alone with his child. Im simply referring to being introduced, in a public place, with my partner obviously being there the whole time.

I met my step daughter at ages 3 nearly 4 but this was after about 9 months of being with her dad

the only reason for it being so late was because her mum was not co parenting and stopping access for the slightest thing of you don’t have this issue then I would say do the meet up as soon as you know your partner is long term and that sure about you and him

when I did meet her we went for a casual day shopping for her birthday and then I left to it. she then asked time and time again after that initial meet if I could go places with her and her dad when they went on days out together

my step daughter pretty much controlled how often I saw her and we soon became best friends even to this day if I am going somewhere different to her dad it’s me she wants to go with, our what’s app chat is titled Bff’s and I wouldn’t have it any other way she is defo my bestie

Six months.

You do you hun

It was in fact a chance meeting with my daughter, and they both get on great. He has always been open and frank with me. I have met his family and seen him with them and his friends. I know the man he is, had i felt uncomfortable or the kids did he would be gone.

I met SS 8 months after our relationship began. My now DH told me he would only introduce me once he was sure I would be an ongoing permanent fixture in their lives. SS was 1.5 years old at the time and I met him at a cafe with play area with him mum and stepdad present so they could meet me too. He’s now 12 and he doesn’t remember a time before me and his stepdad were in his life. TBH we’ve all been quite lucky it worked out as it did for us all I guess.

Ds has started seeing one of his friends who has children. He already stays the night and is quite active in their lives. I feel it’s way to early. The children already knew him as they were friends anyway, so I guess it’s slightly different. I just don’t want him to be involved in their lives if it isn’t a serious relationship, and things turn sour.

Think it was about 2 months when my DS met my then Boyfriend. DS was just shy of 18 months old so not really none the wiser. But it was literally for about half an hour whilst he was at work, then I'd say it was maybe another couple of months. Before DP came to stay over and never left 😂 were now 14 years down the line with 2 of our own children added and 5 dogs. Married for 7 of those. DS loves DH and vice versa.

I think personally with this there isn't really any right or wrong time. It's when you and your partner decide it's right to do so. Plus as daft as it sounds I knew hubs was the one ☺️

Jesus Christ the OP is trying to do her best for the kids involved and suddenly we've gone up a hundred notches and are talking about step parents being child abusers 🤦‍♀️

i think it depends on how the relationship is developing and how old are the children. I've met my SD (who was 4 at the time) fairly early on - maybe within 2 months, but there was literally no other way because she was at my now DH's house everyday. At the time, as far as she was concerned, I was another fun adult to have around.

I’ve met kids, the first time I’ve met up with someone. Depends on the individuals circumstances. I’ve introduced my own kids to lots of friends since my divorce, but only one person got past that stage with my kids. I’d rather know from the off if my kids are going to get on with them, because that would be a deal breaker for me, and I’d prefer not to waste anyone’s time, including my own.