Help !

[Bilbel]

Help !
I am away on holiday with my husband I treated him for his birthday we got here last night and he has not said three words to me, his behaviour is narcissistic and my anxiety is through the roof, I have said if you are unhappy here there is a flight home but he just shrugged that off I don't know how to respond to this behaviour I feel like crying but I won't but what should I do ..

you get on the flight home OP and pack his bags when you get there. That’s a truly terrible way to treat you and you don’t deserve it.

Why did you book this trip? Is he always like this? I agree with the previous poster—leave.

Get a flight home yourself and divorce him

We might need a bit more information to give good advice.

Is he always/often like this or is this totally out of character? Has there been any other behaviour from him recently that hasn’t been nice?

He can be like this but without doubt it is getting worse ... I have been with him for 23 years he is very selfish and this is unbelievable I am a strong woman but he is crushing me I would like to divorce him but he has all the finances so this makes it difficult nightmare springs to mind !

I would like to divorce him but he has all the finances so this makes it difficult nightmare springs to mind !

I am sorry this is happening to you. What do you mean by "he has all the finances"? Are you being financially abused? I am guessing you have access to money as you say you are treating him to this holiday?

If you tell us more, we can help you.

I work for him he pays me a wage but the main money is in his charge I thought if I treat him it would be appreciated as it took me a while to pay for this holiday but I realise this is a waste of time !

I am not surprised you feel trapped then. First thing you need to do is get a job outside the house, I reckon. You need independence and the ability to earn money without him calling the shots. Have you got DC? If so, what are their ages?

17 and 25 (previous relationship)

Are you comfortable enjoying the holiday by yourself? Go sightseeing/beach/pool/shopping/whatever by yourself?

I’m guessing you’ve spoken to him about how it’s making you feel and there’s been no change? If that’s the case and you feel you’ve done what you can from your side then I’d end it.

I wasn’t earning much when I left my marriage. I went to live with a friend, got a better paying job and never looked back. When the divorce was finalised I got a settlement which wasn’t huge but I have it put aside for a house deposit. If you’re married, he can’t just keep everything and all the money, it doesn’t work like that. It has to be shared. I’ve thrived on building up my income, fully supporting myself and living my own life. It’s very daunting and scary at first but I’m happier than ever now.

If you’re unhappy, don’t let fear get in the way of making the best decisions for you. There’s a better life out there than living with a man who disrespects you and doesn’t make you feel loved.

What Specso said!

It's good that you don't have very young children to worry about.

You can do this, OP!

Thank you it is going to take some strength if you have no money for a solicitor to start a divorce how do you go about this? As feeling trapped and helpless is not what I want but very much aware that I am !

Yes I am who knows could be the next Shirley Valentine lol !

He wants you working for him so it's difficult for you to leave. Could you easily get another job and move out. It's good your DC are older.

I would ignore him and get on with my holiday as I please.

Working for him is not so good and to get a real job I feel I would struggle the more I write this the more I realise what the actually I think a flight home is needed and to sort this out as he last comment was this wasn't what I wanted to do for my birthday lol ! Thank you for your advice