Starting again at 36.. do I still have time?

[username0202]

Partner told me it was over a month ago after 11 years together met someone else. Same old story from
Work blah blah etc. I am devastated and trying my best to keep going. My problem is I really wanted a baby.
I just tuned 36 and he 38, I've got a blood clotting disorder (APS) which we recently discovered after 3 miscarriages. I want to have a baby so desperately, but now I've got to start over again with someone new. I've had no trouble getting pregnant so that's a good thing I suppose. I just want a healthy relationship and a baby of my own. And any future pregnancy would have to have treatment etc.
do I still have time at 36?
Thanks

Don’t have any advice/experience to offer but sending hugs OP xx

Ah op it's shite isn't it, I had to start my life over after the devastation of a cheating ex.

Yes, you're still young, you have time, but I would say try to take a little of that time to heal, take care of yourself and re-find yourself?

I had no idea who I was after everything fell apart, and I knew personally I needed to figure it out before I was in a position to start dating etc.

In regards to the fertility thing, you do have options if you did feel like that was something you wanted to look into - I've no experience with your specific condition but hoping some one might be along with better more specific advice on that one.

You might also perhaps need to work through your feelings in relation to the mc you've been through, there's a few supportive threads on that board on mn, a port in a storm ime.

If you have friends or family irl who could support you to re-group, maybe reach out to them? I didn't at that time, but slowly built a network little by little.

Wishing you well xx

Wishing you well OP and as others have said, take this time to heal. Sorry you had to suffer 3 miscarriages to find the cause, but it can be easily treated during a future pregnancy. You still have time. Use this time now to focus on you and do things you enjoy doing.

I also have APS, sorry you had to suffer 3 miscarriages before they discovered it. Presumably you just need to take low dose aspirin to try and prevent further miscarriages?

yes you still have time. Contrary to popular belief, your fertility doesn’t ‘drop off a cliff’ at 35.

take some time to recover - what your ex did was brutal, has robbed you of your most fertile years, after over a decade together. Have faith that the universe was clearing room for someone much better, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve xx

Hi @username0202
Honestly hun please don't be worried. I spent my 20's and 30's in relationships that didn't go anywhere. I really tried my best but had my heart broken over and over again. I really wanted to have kids. I met someone at 40 years old, had a baby at 41 years old and am now pregnant with my second. You still have time, don't worry xx

I also have APS. We started ttc at 36, diagnosed with APS at 38 following 3 miscarriages. My next pregnancy was successful, treated with aspirin and enoxaparin, with regular scans at the recurrent miscarriage clinic in trimester 1, monthly scans in trimester 3 and delivery at 37 weeks with baby arriving just before I was 39, and just had my second 6 weeks ago at 41 so yes there is still time. Like you I had no trouble conceiving, just staying that way. Now you’ve been diagnosed your chances of a successful pregnancy have increased from about 18% without treatment, to around 80% when treated with aspirin and lmwh injections (although some recent studies have had over 90% success rates). Wishing you every success with this x

Yes, you do have time. Women can have babies into their forties. Check out the book 'It starts with the egg'.

Also, I'm sorry for what you have been through with your ex. It sounds like a blessing in disguise, now you know who he is and can meet someone better.

Huge hugs. This is earth shattering and at an awful time. The same thing happened to my friend at exactly 36 she met her husband at 38 and they have a little girl. At this stage with dating etc you don't mess around you're clear with what you want and move on quicker if someone doesn't want the same things as you (although be cautious about the risks of ignoring red flags and pushing forwards with someone JuST because they want family life- I may have done this a little bit and look at my username!) x

I met my husband when I was 37 and after some challenges we got a baby when I was 41. It's not too late for you. You just cannot waste time dating wrong men.

Yes you still have time. Don't panic. As much as you want a baby, maybe it's a small mercy that you didn't end up having one with that total bastard. Maybe someone up above was looking out for you. Just don't settle for the first guy that comes along. You still have time.

Roselee
comforting words indeed😮

I started dating my partner when I was 38. Had our eldest at 41 and youngest at 42.

You're still young and can reinvent yourself

Your career, relationship anything you want