Why am I so upset now?

[Tangerine1234]

Me and my partner split up after 13 years last September it was a joint decision as there were lots of issues we couldn't work around. At first I was relieved as it was something I had thought about and I was extremely unhappy in the relationship, and couldn't take anymore, both my partner and son are autistic and I was in burnout. I was upset when he told me he was texting a girl only 4 weeks after we split before he even moved out. He still sees her now, although she lives away so not often and he says they are just friends. Not long afyer he moved out my mam had a stroke, and since then my son has been anxious aswell, and started to refuse school. Safe to say I've been stressed. Now whenever I see him after hes been with her or he mentions her I'm crying and I'm not a Cryer. Why? I don't want him back, the issues are unlikely to ever change we tried for a long time to make it work and it doesn't. So why am I so upset? I'm feeling very confused.

Any ideas? I can't stop contact, he needs to come to ours to see my son, as he won't go to his at the moment.

Xx

I haven't been in your situation, but to me it sounds like you miss the idea of him. It's very common to feel this way about someone you've loved for a long time. You miss the idea of your relationship, but it's good that you see that it didn't work. It's okay to feel this way, allow yourself to feel and process your emotions and soon they will fade. Wishing you luck x

Change, even wanted change, can trigger some grief for what has gone.

You need some boundaries, it would be good to stop discussing this new woman at least. He's there to see your son.

I think it’s that feeling of someone that was your safety net moving on. Even though you know they’re not right for you, it’s having that support. The idea of them moving on makes you feel left behind. Then the stress of your son and your mum having a stroke. It’s a lot to handle. Have you tried talking therapy? Sending you love and positivity.