Not sure how much more I can take

[schul]

4 years married. He used to be fun. But my god I am BORED.

He just wants to sit home and do nothing all day everyday other than attending work.

His only interest is gaming which is fine, but when that's not happening he just sits on his phone. Doesn't want to engage in conversation unless it's to make a childish "joke". We can't sit and have a proper conversation and if I even tried, he doesn't listen.

We can't visit friends / family without him checking the time etc to look for a reasonable time to suggest leaving. If we have plans, he always wants to know when we're coming home. If we have people over, he wants to know what time they will leave (including today, my son has his school friend over and he's admitted he wants to know when he's going home as he doesn't like people being over)

It's so hard and I just want to socialise/chat/have fun. I get that some people are home birds but this is driving me nuts.

His old is he? Sounds very dull OP!

30 would you believe...

Just the son seemingly

Sounds like you have grown up and he hasn't. Bet when your dc is teen age you never see either of them. Is he willing dc to get older to become his gaming buddy?

I can. But if I'm honest if I say I'm going out, it feels like I'm putting him out a bit? But even still I'd like to do these things with my husband who one upon a time did get involved with stuff.

I'm never going to see my kids when they are teenagers because their dad is boring?

My exh was 5 years younger than me.. He ruined my 40th birthday sulking because we had guests for a small garden party.. He had insisted he had a new game as apparently it wasn't fair the whole day was about me. I went to bed alone at 9pm while he played his game.
Exh before I was 41..

I agree. But even coming into the garden is a massive ask. It's annoying. He just wants to lounge inside constantly because he doesn't like sun either 🙄

Kids are primary age. I have no huge "hobbies" as such but going for coffee and conversation is all I ask! Wanting him to chat to my friends / their partners is surely not too much to ask

he has a screen addiction

Is he a stoner by any chance? Autistic?
Talking from experience of living with both

No, neither. I absolutely know it's not a mental health thing. I think he's just gradually got more boring and more comfortable as the years have gone on. It's almost as though there was a "show" at the beginning and this is who he is. I am only 30 and can't spend my entire life in this misery. I cant.

You'll have to tell him then, won't you? You could have another 50 years of this!

Generally once I've done all of the prep for the kids for the next day I can't be bothered doing much other than maybe some reading! I work full time and don't really have time for much else as it's all very kid focused...

You'd have 50% of your time back if you split. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I know that's a simplistic/flippant comment, but I underestimated how important my child free weekends would become. A break helps me in many ways, and I'm a better mum when they get home.

There are so many of these “You’ll have 50% of your time back if you split” comments on Mumsnet. It rarely works like that from what I can see! Personally my ex takes my son about 4 hours a month at best. Other mums may get alternate weekends. The norm is not 50% split of childcare.

That could be the case here, though. If my circumstances were different I would do a 50% split, but at this stage a break EOW, longer with BH, and summer holidays covered, adult-only time is much easier to come by compared to when I was shackled to home and hearth with a feckless man around.