My head / life is a total mess. I'm married (3 years, together 5). Issues with sex from the start but everything else good and I'd had a string of fun relationships so I think I chose with my head rather than heart. I hoped the sex would improve over time, it hasn't. He's a wonderful person and dad to our son (3 years old) but we haven't had sex for 2.5 years now and even before having our son I'd say we were incompatible sexually. I've tried very hard to make it work...my husband just doesn't seem interested in connecting / spending time together or having sex. It used to be him that wasn't in the mood since our son was born but now I don't want to have sex (with him) either.
I've spoken to him about it and said I really didnt want to split up but told him honestly at the moment it's only because I don't want to hurt our son / split the family up and that I don't feel we have a romantic relationship at all. Husband says he's burnt out from parenting and has no sexual desire (for anyone). He's in therapy which helped with him being angry / grumpy but no improvement in sexual desire and it's been over 6 months. After our son goes to bed he just wants to be alone doing his hobbies and if we do even watch tv together he acts like it's a massive chore. Last time we did try to have sex he got tired halfway through and couldn't be bothered to carry on so I feel a total lack of desire and that in turn has made me shut down and not want sex at all (with him). Husband agrees we have no romance but doesn't want to split up because of our child and he thinks once son is older and we get more opportunity for dates things will improve. I don't feel optimistic as we had issues before. There are other issues such as I feel he's very negative and critical towards me although this has improved with therapy I just don't feel very highly regarded by him
I have a best male friend of 15 years or so. Obviously because we're friends we have lots in common, similar personalities and know each other very well. There's never really been anything between us..he tried to kiss me once when we first met / within the first year but I wasn't interested and he agreed it was a mistake / he was drunk. Out of the blue he has started acting differently towards me and expressed feelings for me ...I've also started to feel the same and feel very intense sexual attraction to him which I can't understand as we've always been very platonic. I'm guessing it's probably more to do with the lack of intimacy in my marriage...but I feel so confused. I told him I would never cheat and he said he also wouldn't do that and respects I wanted to try and make the marriage work for my son.
However I can't stop thinking about him and feel our friendship is now doomed as I feel I have to avoid him now. I saw him recently and even eye contact is giving me butterflies and his arm touching mine sitting next to me which is ridiculous as I've never felt like this with him before. My friend is pretty much the polar opposite of my husband which has good and bad points..I just don't know what to do.
Has anyone else been in this situation? I've also gone out with a friend before when much younger and it destroyed the friendship ...I honestly don't know what I'd do without him so terrified of this even if I wasn't with husband.