Feel manically obsessed with my ex how do I stop ?

[Gingemermaid]

My partner of four years off and on broke up last month and I can’t stop contacting him. I’ve tried deleting numbers . Down loading silence app. Etc etc
i even took time off work and drove to his house!

how do I get some self control.
I know he was bad for me and it’s the best thing but I can seem to accept it and stop being pathetic and obsessive and making myself look foolish .
all my friends are sick of hearing about it .

These things can take time to get over- a month is nothing.

Try to do other activities, go out to groups etc to take your mind off him.

I would start investing in yourself more. Block and delete him on everything- all social media and your phone. If you keep re-adding then delete your social media and fill your time with other things. I would go for counselling to try and establish why you're consistently drawn back to something that hurts you and how to unpick the hurt and pain this relationship caused you and build your self esteem back up.

I'd start investing time in other relationships with people who actually make you feel good or who you'd like to know better. Join a hobby to meet some new people and build your confidence and fill your time so you're not thinking about your ex as much. Ultimately it takes time, grieving a relationship is like grieving a person - it hurts, its messy, it's not linear and sometimes the bad days will come out of the blue. But a month isn't that long really and since you say you were off and on as a pattern, it maybe has given you the false illusion that this time its temporary too instead of asking yourself if this is really what you want and if there's something out there that's better for you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a healthy, stable and secure relationship (or to be happily single if that's what you want).

No contact, block everywhere, keep busy and educate yourself on trauma bonds.

Go onto you tube and search for Susan Winters, she has some great advice on dealing with a break up.

If you like reading - Getting Past Your Breakup: ©2012 Susan J Elliott (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy: by Greg Behrendt (Author), Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (Author)

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