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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Birthday

3 replies

CoolaSchmoola · 15/08/2023 21:55

Evening all.

I'm in need of unbiased thoughts, as I'm not sure whether my reaction is disproportionate.

It's my birthday today, and it's the first one DP has been here for in four years as he works away.

He had to go back to work tonight, so I suggested we went out for birthday dinner at the weekend so he could leave at a reasonable time tonight. We went, it was lovely.

Today we went for chips before he left. My suggestion again, because it's quick.

Here's where I need opinions.

He didn't get me a card, and he says my gift is on its way.

I didn't realise there was nothing at all until he was leaving and I got upset.

It's been a bad day anyway. I lost my dad two months ago, and my aunt died this morning.

I'm not seeing family until the weekend so, aside from a few cards, I've not had anything.

People keep asking me what I got, and I don't know what to say.

DP thinks I'm being unfair because we went out for dinner.

I make a big deal of his birthdays, and I just feel shit.

OP posts:
Tryingtobepositive123 · 15/08/2023 22:43

Happy birthday. Sorry its been a bit rubbish. I would feel a bit miffed too tbh. Although I do think people see birthdays differently and some place far lower expectations on it. So try not to take it to heart but make sure he knows for next time?

Grey86op · 15/08/2023 23:05

Happy Birthday! Sorry it’s not been the best of days.
Does your DP usually buy you a gift and card? Like the last person said too everyone sees birthdays differently, my last partner.. him and his family never celebrated birthdays so I would
juts get a card and we would have a date night.

CoolaSchmoola · 16/08/2023 01:00

Grey86op · 15/08/2023 23:05

Happy Birthday! Sorry it’s not been the best of days.
Does your DP usually buy you a gift and card? Like the last person said too everyone sees birthdays differently, my last partner.. him and his family never celebrated birthdays so I would
juts get a card and we would have a date night.

He usually does.

I suppose I'm just feeling all sorts of weird because of my dad.

This was the first birthday ever that I haven't had a single gift to open on the day. I'd have been chuffed with a Toblerone.

OP posts:
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