I would really appreciate no hindsight advice, i.e. "well that's what you get for being reliant on a man", etc.
I am trapped in a home and in a relationship that is makes me feel anxious and depressed just being at home. Partner and I have been together 3.5 years, we have a 1 year old child and we own our house together.
My partner has issues. He claims not to, but they are undeniable since our child arrived. He resents me. He resents our child. He resents the relationship I have with our child. It comes from the fact that I'm the primary caregiver and our child still chooses me over him 100% of the time, and my priority, generally, has been parenting our child whilst I've been off on maternity leave. Having a child has brought up abandonment issues for him (again, he won't admit it but knowing his past it's quite obvious), and he is now more angry, emotionally unavailable and disinterested in our relationship than ever. He has indirectly admitted he is "settling" for our relationship because it's the easier option.
The atmosphere at home you could cut with a knife. He's never been the biggest talker and he's always been one of these seemingly miserable types, but now we just don't talk at all other than to communicate the absolute necessities. Kisses on text messages? Gone. Absolutely zero (non-sexual) physical interaction, and even if I initiate it he's completely checked out. He'll still take sex on the rare occasion we are child free, but at this point I feel like he's using me for the pleasure rather than because I mean something to him.
I don't have the money to leave. I couldn't afford to live anywhere else on my salary/I couldn't afford to live in my own house if I was the only bill payer (I dropped my hours to part time for childcare purposes), and I then couldn't afford to live somewhere and pay childcare in order to work full time.
If I wasn't a parent I'd just up and leave and figure it out. But I have no idea what to do now I have a child.