Bedroom confidence after baby

[AmIBoring]

Hi All,
How do you get your self confidence back in the bedroom after having a baby? I have worked really hard to lose my baby weight and am training three times a week again (mostly for my mental health). I am quite tired (baby is doing 4 month sleep regression) but love my husband so much and want to feel confident again during sex. He is loving and helpful around the house but I don't think he really understands how I feel about this. He just says "you look amazing" and compliments me. I just don't feel amazing. I feel shy and tired and squashy. He is also very keen to restart fetishy things and lingerie and i dont feel in that place right now. Any advice please?

For me it was (once I'd recovered from the birth) Hair, nails, some new clothes and sunbeds. I needed to feel myself afterwards. Weight wasn't an issue just my overall look.

One of the Gimp masks with zippers over the eyes? Start off with him fully zipped up and, as you confidence grows, unzip to give him some sight back.

4 months is still very soon!

Your baby is not much more than a newborn and your body has been through a huge upheaval. Its still very early on in your post birth healing period to be hitting the gym 3 times a week and have lost the baby weight.

Give yourself a bit of a break. If you don't feel ready for fetishy things and lingerie, don't feel pressurised into doing it!

It might take another 12 months to feel like your old sexual self. It might take 5 years. It might never happen and you might find a new way of feeling confident and sexual.

I would say that, so soon after childbirth, don't feel pressured by anyone - your partner, your internal belief system or expectations, the media or anyone else - to do or feel anything you are not naturally feeling and don't want to do.

In terms of confidence, it doesn't matter what anyone else is saying to you if you don't feel it yourself. Your confidence won't be improved though by ignoring your instincts and pushing on ahead regardless.

He is also very keen to restart fetishy things and lingerie and i dont feel in that place right now.

It seems to me that this is more the issue, than your confidence.

You aren't interested in this, at the moment, so you need to communicate it to your DH - if he's kind and loving as you say, he'll understand.

Regarding sex more generally, take it easy and go at the pace that suits you, 4 months post-partum is very early days. The key is really communicating with your DH.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 wish I'd have thought of this after my baby