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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lodger and partner issue

15 replies

VictoriaLesley · 14/08/2023 10:58

I have a lodger renting a room for £500 per month. (I used to charge £600 but knocked £100 off when my partner moved in as a gesture of goodwill, to compensate for a third person in the house).

My friend has recently got a girlfriend and asked if it would be OK for them to stay occasionally. Fast forward a few weeks and she’s now over 4 or 5 nights a week. My water bill has increased but I don’t put this down directly to her visiting (although I have noticed she has showered at mine in the past).

I don’t want to stop him from seeing his Mrs, nor upset the atmosphere but I need him to know that I’m aware she is round more than occasionally, and I will have to up his rent for this. He is aware as he has at the start said to our mutual friend that he doesn’t want to take the p* because he loves living here and doesn’t want to spend every minute with his girlfriend.

To put into context, I live in a small 3 bed terrace house with one shared bathroom and small kitchen. I was thinking a minimum of £100 to cover for the additional person, plus some. His Mrs doesn’t have her own place and stays with her parents. He’s only stayed their once. How much do you think would be reasonable and how would you word this? I think I’ll need to put this in a text because I never see him without her.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 14/08/2023 11:01

There two separate issues ... the money and the fact that there would now be four people living in the house, essential the lodger and his GF making it their 'home' as well as your's. Personally I would not be comfortable with that at all and would make it clear that lodger can only invite his GF over maximum once/twice a week.

This is your home .. not some shared student digs or HMO ... be assertive.

TakeMe2Insanity · 14/08/2023 11:02

Didn’t you post this before?

Callyem · 14/08/2023 11:03

Yep, definitely seen this post about a week ago on AIBU

Callyem · 14/08/2023 11:04

I think a 2 night per week limit is fair.

Pebbledashery · 14/08/2023 11:10

Didn't you get advice on your last thread regarding this?....

longtompot · 14/08/2023 11:17

TakeMe2Insanity · 14/08/2023 11:02

Didn’t you post this before?

Yup

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4863404-is-my-lodger-being-cheeky-or-am-i-being-pathetic?page=1

OooohAhhhh · 14/08/2023 11:18

Before you increase anything you need to be factual & work out exactly how much more this girlfriend is costing. I doubt 1 extra person is increasing anything by £100 a month unless it's excessive use, not just use in general.
Also I'm not sure whereabouts you are, but to increase room rent to £600 seems a lot if it's just for the room. You need to be careful that you don't push your lodger out if you need the money, as renting a flat probably wouldn't be much more?

sunshinesupermum · 14/08/2023 11:22

Why have you posted this again?

SD1978 · 14/08/2023 11:36

There was ample,advice on your original thread- maybe get this one deleted?

SD1978 · 14/08/2023 11:36

Sorry-why post again a week later when you got the original post removed at your behest?!

LookingForFreeDoughnuts · 14/08/2023 11:37

I doubt you'll get different advice, OP.

Pinkbonbon · 14/08/2023 12:27

'Hey man I've noticed the girlfriend is over a bit much. I know its new love and all that but my water bill is rocketing. So can you keep it to a 2 night per week maximum from now on? I think that's more than fair'.

Twuntina · 14/08/2023 12:32

I didn't see the other thread. I think increasing the rent by £100 is reasonable as that is what you knocked off to make up for your bf moving in. Now his gf has all but moved in too so I think that increase is fine.

amylou8 · 14/08/2023 12:41

Deja by

amylou8 · 14/08/2023 12:41

*deja vu

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