Dating with children.

[rainbowraindropp]

I'm divorced with 2 kids 5&4.

I've been OLD and it's been fun but whenever things get a little more serious I just go cold and back away no matter how perfect they appear.

I've been seeing someone for 6 months and it was going so well, I really liked him, he had a successful business, own house. He just had his shit together. He also has a child.

We went out last night, had an amazing night then this morning he asked me where I was at and I just froze. He said he liked me and can see a future and I just told him I didn't, he left. I'm gutted. It's as soon as I have to consider the person in my children's lives, or me in their child's life and I just can't get past it. If it wasn't for my kids I know I'd of jumped straight in.

My ex husband had children, children I loved and invested in and now rarely see. It hurt to leave them. Also, one of my children is autistic and although he's an absolutely beautiful boy, he can be hard work and I'm scared to introduce him to someone and him build a relationship with them and then find him too much. His own dad couldn't accept him for who he is so I'm worried another person won't and I don't want to be responsible for choosing someone who didn't accept him.

I know I can move past the early dating/casual stage and be more committed before introducing children but the second it's even a topic of conversation I block it all out and push them away.

How do I get past this? I really liked this guy, I'd like to reach out and apologise but I just don't know how to move forward.

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with your dating life and your feelings for this guy. I can understand how hard it can be to open up and trust someone after a divorce, especially when you have children involved. You are not alone in this, and there is hope for finding love and happiness again.

I think you need to be honest with yourself and with him about why you are pushing him away. It sounds like you have some unresolved issues and fears that are holding you back from committing to a relationship. You might be afraid of getting hurt again, or hurting your children, or being rejected by him or his child. These are valid and normal concerns, but they are not insurmountable.

I suggest you reach out to him and apologise for your reaction. Tell him that you do like him and want to see a future with him, but that you also have some challenges and worries that you need to work on. Ask him if he is willing to give you another chance, and if he is, then take things slowly and communicate openly with him. You don't have to rush into introducing your children or meeting his child, but you also don't have to avoid the topic altogether. You can talk about your expectations and boundaries, and respect each other's pace and preferences.

I also suggest you seek some professional help or support to deal with your issues and fears. You might benefit from some counselling or therapy, or joining a support group for single parents or divorced people. You might also find some helpful resources or advice on [this website] or [this website], which have more information about dating after divorce and dating as a single parent.

I hope this helps you get past this hurdle and move forward with your dating life. Remember that you deserve to be happy and loved, and that you are not alone in this journey. You have a lot to offer to someone who appreciates you and your children, and who is willing to share his life with you.

Forgot to give you the links I referred to!

Here you go:

Dating after divorce: How to date as a single parent | Metro News

How Do I Start Dating After Divorce? 5 Proven Tips For Success – Not In The Kitchen Anymore

Hope these help, OP!