I have just got off the phone to a dear old friend who is heart-broken and I am heart-broken for her. She has been married for around ten years (I forget exactly how long) and she and her husband have two kids in primary school.
About six weeks ago my friend's husband told her out of the blue that the marriage was over. In trying to make sense of what he was saying to her, she asked him if there was anyone else and he said no. She was so shell-shocked and devastated, and she needed some time out to process things, so she went to stay with her parents (who live in another country) for a few weeks.
About ten days before the bombshell conversation they had gone to a party and the husband met and starting chatting to a woman at that party. As soon as my friend left the country he started seeing the woman from the party. My friend obviously knew nothing about this. When she got back she came across photographs and it all came out.
The AMAZING thing is that my friend's husband thinks he has done nothing wrong. His justification is that it's not cheating because he had already told her the marriage was over. To add insult to injury, he says that she should move out, rather than him. She has no family in the city (or even the country!) where they live and moved there to be with him.
It's absolutely incredible that he can justify his behaviour in this way. I'm posting this because I'm looking for validation for my dear friend, who is in such a state that she is in danger of being taken in by his skewed moral code.