just need to write this down. I’m in therapy as well but it is summer holiday time.
BF of almost 2 years split with me in May by text message. I feel like a stupid kid - I’m 48 and he’s 45. My first relationship after my partner of 20 years died in 2020.
There’s been a bit of texting between us over this time but I haven’t seen him even though his parents live in my village.
Last week he sent a message asking if I was sleeping. It was 1:30. I replied and said no. He said he wanted to see me. That he missed me. He wanted to come to my place and stay with me but I said no as DD24 was at home. If she wasn’t here I know I would have said yes.
Then he asked if he could pick me up and go for a drive. Then he said it was maybe too late so he video called me instead. Started to tell me how great we were together.
Said that he wanted to see me, told him I was going away for a few days and he said he wanted to see me before I went away. We wrote a bit and then he ghosted me for a weekend.
I went away without seeing him and now I’m back. He wrote while I was away. But yesterday he said he shouldn’t have called me last week. That it was a mistake.
I am just a mess now. I told him that he has hurt me yet again and he just said that wasn’t his intention and he was sorry.
I’ve asked him to come over and get his stuff and to give me mine back but no reply.
I also asked how he would react if his daughter said she was being treated this way by a man. No reply to this either.
I know I have to move on - I just fell for this guy so hard, I’d also known him a while before and thought he was a good friend.
He claims I was trying to take away his freedom whereas all I wanted was respect and communication.
I had some brilliant times with him - I finally had a life after 20 years with someone that wouldn’t let me go out alone(but that’s another story).
I’m scared I’m going to have no one in my life again - I just want to be hugged and to have good sex (found myself sexually when I was with this guy - could open up and we were good together in bed).
he’s got his kids for 3 weeks now.
just so confused because just before we split we had started doing things with his kids together. He was telling others how different we were but how great we were together.
Someone asked him if we were living together, he didn’t say no, he said no yet.
I know I have to let him go. It’s just hard and we have to sort out things. The stuff he has left at my place is worth a lot. And can’t be dropped off with him as it’s too big for a car. I also can’t drive at the moment so I can’t just go over and get my things. And one item won’t fit in a car.
Not being able to drive at the moment makes me feel very trapped too as the public transport in my rural area is not good. All my “friends” are coupled up or have younger children and don’t want to do the same things as me.
He was also doing some work for me which is unfinished and I’d paid a deposit for it too. Contacted another company and they want 3 times what he was going to do it for and I just can’t afford it. He won’t give me a date to complete the work or an offer in writing.