Argument this morning

[Sparkos]

Me and dp have just had an argument where I think I’m in the right, he thinks he’s in the right. Interested to know peoples opinion as I’m fuming. We have 2DC, a 7 year old and a 2 year old. Every Saturday, he’s out for several hours playing football. Yesterday he was out all day and night as after football he went to a friends party. I am used to the Saturdays, but would appreciate that on Sundays I get a little break.

Anyway, this morning (every Sunday if I’m being honest) I go downstairs with DC. Then he shouted down to make him a coffee so I did. A little while, he comes downstairs and DS asks him for some breakfast. He said “in a minute” 5 minutes later DS asks again. He says “in a minute” So I get up and start making it. He comes into the kitchen and asks what I’m doing so I said I’m making breakfast. Then he says “I said I would do it” and stormed off🤔

Then DS is playing a game on his tablet. He asks DP what character he should be, he ignores him because he’s on his phone. DS asks again, no reply from him.

This is when I spoke up and called him out. I told him I’m sick of feeling like I do everything and never get a break. Now we’re not speaking

Logically he won't see a problem with what he's done, but you have a point calling him out because he's used to doing things at his own pace, when he feels like it. You're not. You're each driven by very different perceptions of consideration for others.

What happens next is important. If he doesn't understand why you expressed this, things are never going to change.

"I said I would do it" and storming off is just a perfect excuse to continue doing nothing. Call him out. Set out clear demands of what you need in terms of support around the house, and time to yourself. You deserve better but so do your children.

I don't really understand why you wouldn't have already made DC breakfast when you had been downstairs already/done his coffee however it all sounds a bit something over nothing. In an ideal world then yes he should have probably let you have the lay in but other than

Then DS is playing a game on his tablet. He asks DP what character he should be, he ignores him because he’s on his phone. DS asks again, no reply from him.

This is worse I think.

@buzzlightyearsgloves They never want breakfast straight away, they usually ask after about half an hour of being downstairs

There’s some underlying issues going on here. This is just a catalyst to stuff you might want to get aired in a sensible way with proper conversation when the kids are not around.

Maybe you need something to take you out of the house one evening a week whilst he parents the little ones?

If talking & proper communication doesn’t work, after a reasonable stab at resolution, you may went to think about your future without such vexations.

So to me this reads as " I enable my partner to be a lazy fecker because he knows eventually I will do it and I always do. Now I am fed up with it" Theres the key right there. stop doing it. stop stepping in. you are enabling him to behave like this and as long as you keep on enabling he will keep on doing.