I feel so guilty!

[whatwillbewillbe23]

So my ex partner has stopped talking to me because he said I’ve lied …. I’ll explain more. We live together while trying to sell the house - he wants to get back together but he’s hot and cold all the time and I was never truly myself.

Basically I went to get a tiny bit of lip filler - it’s something I’ve always wanted to try but I kept it natural. In the past whenever I’ve had tattoos or changed my appearance we use to argue. He’d always insult me and make me feel awful.

So this time when he asked if I’d done something to my lips I just said it’s probably the way I’ve done my makeup. A few hours later he directly asked if I’d had filler so I admitted it. I tried to explain that in the past he’s been so horrible when I’ve had stuff done that I was scared to tell him but he’s basically gone mad.

I feel so guilty and In hindsight I should have just said outright but I didn’t want to get insulted or made to feel stupid.

Should I feel guilty or was my reason valid ?

Not to sound flippant but… he’s your ex. Who cares whether you tell a lie about something so trivial. You’re not each others problems anymore. I get that you are still having to live together but it’s literally none of his business. It’s not like you’ve brought a new date round to your shared home or done anything insensitive. So no, you shouldn’t feel guilty and I have no idea why you’d let him make you feel that way.

So if he is your ex why do you owe him an explanation?? You owe him nothing not a thing. So he is an opinionated controlling arse, sounds like separation was and is a good idea. I hope the house sells soon OP so you can walk away and not walk on eggshells all the time.

Why would you feel guilty about something that’s absolutely nothing to do with him when he’s your ex?

He sounds ridiculous so I’d just enjoy the peace if he’s not speaking to you.

Agree with PP - so what if he’s not speaking to you? But I do think it must be very painful to be continuing to live with someone who has dumped you and you sound a bit impervious to that. Hopefully your house sale will go through quickly.

Thank you - it was such a controlling relationship and even though we’re not together it still is.

He refuses to talk about the house sale and I feel like a caged animal.

Whatever you don't get back together with him. You must surely see that he's
Not very nice???

@lastminutewednesday yes I see this and I’m trying my best to remember this everyday. But we were together a long time and it’s hard to break the attachment

I'm sure. But much harder to wast trout life on someone who is quite clearly horrible. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic but life is a series of choices and it's not always obvious what path to take. So when it is clear what you should do, as it is here, then it's a shame to waste time thinking about it.

Don't give him your energy. Use it instead to plan something nice for yourself and a new start.

*waste your life