After 5 years of being unhappy, finally told husband I wanted to separate this week. The relief is massive. I'm 100% about it, it's been a long time coming.
Together 13 years, married 6. We have two small DC under 5. No intimacy shown by him since first pregnancy (aside from literally one occasion where we conceived DC2). No sex, no hugs, no kisses. Had to actively ask for a hug, if I do he barely responds. If I talk to him in the evening he just stares at his phone and mumbles. Have brought it up numerous times, last time he told me he has nothing left for me after kids and work. Both of us work full time.
I'd be on the high energy side, regularly exercise etc. He works, comes home, nothing else. Depression may be a factor but have tried until blue in the face and not my issue to fix. He's a bit older than me, has written himself off as an old man already, constantly says this. I just can't do it any more. Mental load of doing everything and arranging everything. He goes away for 4+ trips a year with friends but never with us (too much hassle with kids apparently).
I'm absolutely craving after all this time a mad fling, literally feeling starved of affection. The mechanics of it would allow me to do it discretely and not rub anything in his face or affect the kids. In my head my marriage was over a long time ago.
Just from other people's experiences how soon is too soon, or how long to wait? I know it's all new but I feel like I could explode!