Emotionally unavailable, killing me slowly

[OSunt2123]

Me and my partner were on thin ice a few months ago, he hadn't contributed to the house for months, he is self employed and I told him he needed to get a PAYE job, and he refused creating a huge gap amongst other issues, we were talking of splitting

I found him sexting a girl he used to sleep with, sending graphic pictures. We split, I felt suicidal and thought my life was over, I had lots of sex with him and wanted him back

He came back, now life is bleak
I'm extremely self conscious now never horny, he's completely emotionally unavailable if I speak of it even once, he actually gets angry with me never reassurance, he won't talk to me about emotions, he has no empathy, if I say anything negative atall he hates me, and he's come back and started a hobby, in which he's now never present when he's here, always on his phone watching videos on it etc, I have had no time for anything, I feel so so unhappy and ignored and insignificant at a time where he should be trying to make it up to me, he says I pushed him to do it.

But I'm so scared of how I'll cope with 2 babies and no other support

The obvious answer is to dump him and make it work on your own. It is hard and scary but so is being with him, choose your hard.
You need to find support and reach out to old friends and family anyway because it's not good you're so reliant on him.

How will you cope with 2 babies

1. emotionally - he doesn't sound like hes helping at all, you'd be better off without him
2. financially - Did he get a PAYE job/is he contributing consistently now? Check what benefits you would be entitled to.
3. practically - does he pull his weight with the kids? If he moves out then surely he'd want contact some of the time?

He came back on the pretence of getting a PAYE now he's refusing to again, if he has the kids it's 2 hour of cleaning for me, he doesn't pull his weight no in any department, think I've answered my question.

I think you have. You'll feel like a weight has been lifted when he goes.

Do you have /can you get hold of any info on his business finances before you get rid? Will be helpful in CMS claim.

He isn’t giving you any support, in any way. He’s draining the life out of you, and setting a bad example for your children. Do you want them to grow up thinking that a relationship is the woman doing all the graft whilst the man does nothing?
get rid of him, he’s a waste of space.

At the moment he's not contributing and you have 3 kids to look after (him being the third). How much harder can it get if he leaves? I'd say your life will probably improve.

There's no doubt it will be hard, but you'll manage OP. Hopefully in time you'll find someone more worthy of you. Good luck.

you will be amazed at how much easier it is when he is gone. that’s not to say it won’t be hard work but without that miserable man and you walking on eggshells it will be so much better.

This is it,
He didn't even tell me he was unhappy when he was sexting it was more me, and he stayed and had no conversation with me about how he was feeling I asked him every day and he lied to me and said it was fine, the whole time he was sexting?
And now I'm asking every day 5 times, are you annoyed with me? Do you want to be with me? Because I feel like I know the answer. I've just said to him a moment ago, I'd rather not be with you then feel the shear anxiety of not knowing how you feel

Sorry to hear must be hard for you.

I mean in my view he's already shown his colours from what he's done previously, not right.

Other than you asking him what's wrong, what's it like is he just not talking at all or ignoring you?

I have experienced the extreme end of this and it does make you feel anxious, you can feel it but you just don't know where you stand.

All I can say is when mine were born I adapted and learned how to raise babies and children, I did it all and didn't leave it to my wife nor would I want to.