Hi. I'm new to this so please bear with me. For the past 9 months my husband keeps lying to me about another woman.
It started back when I checked our bank accounts and saw he'd spent money on a gift, upon asking him who it was for he did tell me it was for this woman but because I'd literally never heard of her, she's not a family friend, he's never mentioned her and he only met her whilst walking the dog, I told him it made me very uncomfortable and I asked him to cancel the gift. He did.
Since then however, i keep finding out that he's lying over and over about his relationship with her. He's bought her food and taken it to her flat when she had covid, he's been messaging her and had her messages in a locked folder on his phone, he's been on walks with her. There have been about 7 instances over the past months, different things, and I've found out and each time he promises nothings going on, he wont do it again, that she is just a friend but obviously he isn't taking how it's making me feel into account as he keeps doing it. The latest is that he was ordering a personalised tshirt for her and I only found out because an email came through about the order. He says he does it all as he likes to help people but he doesn't appear to do this for anybody else in our lives....friend or not. I don't even get thoughtful surprise gifts and I'm his wife. We've argued, he says I'm wrong and nothing has happened but even though I think I believe that nothing physical has happened, I just can't trust him. We've been together 16 years, we have children so I want it to work but I just don't know how to believe a word he says when he's proven over and over he lies. Is it just me? Maybe my version of how a marriage should be is skewed but I would never do this to him and I feel like he isn't thinking about me each and every time he tells another lie and sees or speaks to this woman. I feel like I'm going crazy so please be kind. I do want this to work but at this moment just don't see how. Thankyou for listening.