How does flirting work in middle age? Help needed!

[Frazzledwoman]

I am many many years out of practice.

There is a friendly attendant where I swim who makes a point of chatting. Nothing more, just friendly chit chat. I am not at my best and it's highly unlikely to be anything more than friendly.

But I found myself mulling over flirting. I assume there is always a risk of flirting with someone who is not single. Eek. Maybe if it's all fairly light and the person isn't interested then no harm done/no huge embarrassment?
It would be terrible to make someone feel awkward when they have been nice and are just doing their job.

Don’t know but am tuned in to also get some tips in a similar situation. Can’t tell if the guy is just a nice guy or if it’s more!

@Lookitaahhh it's tricky isn't it?!

Some people just like to chat.

Are you saying that you're thinking about flirting with him but that you know that he's basically just being friendly to you?

It's a woman and yes most likely just chatty so I'm not planning on flirting. Did get me thinking how clueless I feel to know if someone is flirting and would it be terrible to misjudge and try flirt if they were just being friendly.

So you're a woman and she is a woman, do you even know if she is bi or gay?

The general rule is not to flirt with someone at their place of work and that it heavily swings towards friendly than flirty if someone is nice at work such as waitresses, or if you pay them or they are expected to be courteous as part of their job. Sometimes there is chemistry which you can't help but it doesn't mean they will want to take it further. Some people can't do friendly without flirty but they would be shocked if you called them out for flirting.

This is not a middle aged issue it's a universal thing.

I suppose I ask about middle age because I don't remember worrying about such things as a young 20 something. It all seemed easy. Or maybe getting it wrong doesn't feel cringeworthy at 25 compared to 45. Perhaps I have forgotten.

Your answer fits with what I was thinking about the workplace. People should feel comfortable at their place of work without having to fend off flirting.

Yes both woman and no idea whether bi or gay but I was thinking more generally.

One time I skipped the flirting stage and invited the woman for a coffee. Found out a lot about each other when we chatted.
We decided we wanted to be friends. It was another coffee meeting and a restaurant meal before we got really close.
If it doesn't go anywhere at any stage it's OK. You can still go the the same place to swim. No embarrassment to either.

That sounds nice and civilised - and grown up.

Effective too😉lasted 6 months.
Ahhh!