Suing my soon-to-be ex husband for abuse

[School2023]

Hi All,

I’m a victim of physical, emotional, financial and psychological abuse, perpetrated by my soon-to-be ex husband.

I was awarded a non-molestation order which prevents him from contacting me in any way unless via a solicitor (he brought a case to discharge this order and we are going to court to hear this case).

I am wanting to sue my husband for abuse and I just wanted to know if I’m able to do this, how it works, if anyone has done this before and was successful, if there’s anything I need to know, etc?

Many thanks in advance.

I would guess it would have to have been logged with the police first?

Im no expert on the ‘suing situation’ but having also experienced what you have endured, the way forward is to cut contact as much as possible, look forward and not back, and live your best possible life. That’ll hurt him the most.

Clichéd, I know, but worth taking on board.

Spend the money on good therapy rather than sue your ex… otherwise this’ll go on for years, swallow huge amounts of money, and still leave you in a bad state.

Are you in the UK? There is no such thing as 'suing for abuse' here - any physical abuse or the other abuse if it amounts to coercive control is a criminal matter which should be reported to police and then a decision is made about prosecution

Bloody hell, that’s brave. I was glad to escape my abusive ex H with my life, let alone have any desire to enrage / engage him any further with a legal fight.

Like @Ohyeahwaitaminute — move forward not back. Be safe. Good luck.

Are you free and clear, divorce final, OP?

I hate to say it, but I suspect suing him would not be a good return on the legal fees invested. Potentially one of those situations where the only ones who win are the lawyers.

Have you sought legal guidance?

Does he have the means to pay anything awarded if you were successful?

What would the impact in your mental health be if you had this hanging over you for years? Prolonging his involvement in your life.

How could this impact the divorce and financial order?

What do you actually want to get out it? Is it vindication, the money or both?

Also can afford to throw away thousands of pounds if you lose

Hi,

thank you so much for your response.

you’re absolutely right - thank you. Healing and moving on would be better. I was just asking/exploring options.

many thanks.

Not sure that’s a thing but a lawyer can advise properly

That’s a good point to consider, thank you.

Hi,

he does have the means to pay anything awarded, but you are absolutely right about the potential impacts on the divorce and financial order, thank you.

OP.
You are brave to think of this.

This should be a more usual occurrence (I mean in cases of abuse, I wish abuse itself wasn't as common), rather than now when the abusers get away with it.

If nothing else, it would at least reduce society's / families' attitudes, of just sweeping things under the carpet.

I think that, while accepting that you may not be able to do much, you should still have a consultation with at least one solicitor.
I'm not in the legal system myself (rather insurance), but I would talk to a personal injury solicitor. They may even be no win no fee - some good use of that!

You can bring you own case, see the woman in Scotland who sued her rapist in civil court after he was found not guilty in criminal court.

What do you mean 'suing' for what?