Is there a more “vanilla” version of fabswingers?

[honeyandbutterontoast]

A friend suggested I try FS to look for something NSA. I signed up a couple of days ago.

I thought I was fairly broad minded but what I wasn’t expecting was the rudeness and entitlement I’ve come across. I have had hundreds of messages and if I read one and don’t reply back straight away I’ve had rude messages back saying I’m wasting their time, or a dick pic saying “this will change my mind”.

Men demanding meet ups that day (ummm does nobody go to work?). One man who said I had to get in a taxi to his now as he “needed” a bj. When I politely refused, he said how unfair I was being as he was a single dad with his kids asleep upstairs and couldn’t go out to meet me!!

And whilst I was happy with a bit of kink, might as well get a few curiosities sorted before I get too old, it’s somewhat disconcerting chatting to someone who seems okayish, to find all he likes according to his profile is “anal, gang bangs and fisting”. Sorry, but no.

So is tinder the way to go? Is there a site for more casual hook ups which doesn’t require brain bleach after?

I think probably better to go on a normal dating app like tinder/hinge but make it clear you're not looking for anything serious.

And ew. I'm no prude but... ew.

Feeld

@GorillaInBikini it is eew I agree

Holy Trinity

Fab works, but only if you block single guys (I have couples blocked as well tbh as quite a few are actually just guys) and seek out people with common interests yourself. There are a lot of ill-mannered guys on there, especially since lockdown when there was an influx of bored guys.

If you’re looking for FWB type set up with a social aspect as well as NSA sex one of the organised socials is a good way to meet a bunch of people in a social setting without any pressure or hassles. They’re all usually vetted at least a bit by the organisers as well.

I think tinder is perfect for what you want tbh.

Oh dear, I've almost posted a question asking about fabswingers because I found a scrunched up bit of paper under the sofa with the web address written on it in DS1s handwriting ( he's 25 but living at home as he is a mature student).
He is rather secretive about his lovelife, understandable, privacy is tricky living at home, but I will have to try and forget he might be up to stuff that requires brain bleach...

Every other dating app is the alternative as most men on them are only looking for sex anyway 🤷‍♀️

Feeld

Feeld

Fab swingers is a cesspool of society's diseased scum and rejects. Even Tinder is better than it.

Fab works because its more genuine so you just need to filter out the desperate people. The Feeld app can be flakey. Or when you converse on traditional apps, just say you aren't looking for anything heavy

But with that guy, surely you read his profile before you were chatting to him?

Been on and off fab for years OP- nearly 10 in fact

Your going to get idiots wherever you go, sadly. Mostly coked up idiots who are horny and their brain is too rotted to behave like a normal functioning human being.

You have to filter- first look for the green tick next to their name (its mean they are verified) and anyone with dick pictures on their profile just block off straight away. Id say about 0.5% of the messages i get when im on there are worth my time. Likewise tinder hinge etc.

You get idiots who go on it at stupid o clock when they are high, girls give them attebtion because they want a fix and men think its because they are amazing and must have the best dick in the world.

And the ones who say it...are the ones who dont.

There are a lot of profiles on the ‘normal’ dating sites like plenty of fish with men specifying that they don’t want vanilla too, although I have yet to see fisting and gangbangs as a must, lol. Perhaps add ‘vanilla only’ to your fab profile to ward off the worst of the degenerates.

Ask for face pics before they get a reply, 90% of them won't bother as they can't hold the phone that high!!!!!

You have to set your filters so that you weed out a lot of those horrible guys on fab. Only allow verified users to message you, no new profiles etc. Be ruthless.

Definitely Feeld I’ve only had one bad experience chatting on there and had some great meet ups. Also get a lot more attractive matches than on tinder and a lot of people are very open sexually. App is very glitchy though so I usually jump on WhatsApp.m after a bit.

Ugh I've had the worst experience on fab. Only ever message verified profiles with published verifications but still they just treat you like a piece of meat. Is it wrong to want to have a bit of conversation before sending nudes and meeting to shag? Where's the middle ground? I don't know really

The best way to work on Fab is to block people messaging you and message profiles you like the look of yourself.

DH have been on there over 10 years and never allow guys to message us. It stops the spam from the timewasters, the weirdos and the “I’m not married honest, but by coincidence I can only meet you at the time the local women’s group runs every fortnight” brigade.

Also the tone of someone’s verifications on there (and especially the veris they leave for people!) is very telling. If it’s all very gory details then I avoid like the plague as they often correlate to dick pics and wanking chat.

Anyone who does want to meet people and chat before any play, but doesn’t fancy a club I’d highly recommend the big socials (UTB, Manchester, Lichvegas, Bristol etc) as they tend to involve much more chatting and getting to know people before making arrangements if you want to.