Being accused of cheating - text from wrong number

[Whenloveisnotenough]

As title says really, we were having a chilled evening until a random text came through on my phone. Cue my partner coming at me with all the questions of who it is, why they text me, how they got my number. Followed by a few "that's weird" "it's just so wierd" even though the person said it was a wrong number and I'm completely fucking innocent n have no idea who the fuck it is!

I found myself feeling anxious, worried I'd say something or act in a way that would make him THINK I was guilty. Then thought "fuck this, I've done nothing wrong" n I told him so. Then he's all "now it's you making a big deal out of this" he then brought up a time from around 6/7 years ago when I'd had a random number text me that turned out to be a wrong number, saying its happened more than once so there MUST be something to it.

Fuck thit shit. I wish we didn't have kids together, I wish I'd seen the red flags and had more self respect years ago.

Have u got family you can move in with?

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, it looks like this has all been classic controlling and abusive behaviour, a key component of which is to ensure that you are as isolated as possible so you don't have the option to move or leave.

What are the finances like?

I would suggest starting by talking to your family or a close friend, even if you haven't had a lot of contact recently. It's entirely likely that these people will be fully aware that you were forced to ditch them as a result of your wanker of a P.

Just because you have kids you don't have to stay with an arsehole and ruin your life. X

Move back and live with family temporarily if you can, I would not be with his he is isolating you, and gaslighting, it will only get worse. X

I don't work at the moment as youngest is still a toddler, I'm worried how I'm gonna afford anything, I told him to leave and he just started cleaning? Like I'd said nothing.
What do I do? I don't want to get police involved cause he hasn't done anything to warrant the police getting involved

Omg check his phone etc. Hrs projecting 110%

Time to do the MN "ducks in a row" thing. When you can, without him knowing, start organising things.

So think about finances - you haven't said what those are like, if you own/rent, who has money/who pays but look at all those things and consider what your options may be. Possibly call a solicitor if you are married or have joint assets.

He'll try to use the DC as tools against you so ensure you have all their documents and also check in with a solicitor if necessary re rights and obligations.

Talk to family/friends. Call Womens Aid and get their advice.

You can make a plan, in your own time, to leave.

House is in my name, we get universal credit that helps pay the rent.
I don't think he will take the children as he never looks after them by himself, he leaves all the childreering to me.

I know where their birth certificates and everything is, he's no clue where (I believe).

I've told my mum today about what it's been like and she's told me I'm stronger than I think I am and that I can store some things in her shed if it comes to it and pointed me to a homeless shelter nearby.
I don't think it will come to that as I want to prioritise stability for my children, I just have to be strong enough to make him leave.

I feel awful, my heart is heavy, I keep going through stages of what I can only describe as grief.
He left the house while I took the kids to the ship and I don't know where he's gone but it's been a few hours. I know he'll be back though, he has no friends and refuses to speak to his family. I pity him, always have.
I know when he's back he'll be telling me about the monster I am, breaking up our family and delude himself with reasons he's created in his head to make himself out to be the victim. He's probably telling himself I'm running off with the wrong number person lol its funny yet tragic at the same time

I just want it all to be over. I miss my friends. I miss my family so much it hurts

Put the key in the door.

You owe him nothing.

You owe your children more than this.

Gather his stuff and have it ready.

You need to call 101 to say you want this controlling abusive man gone.

He has no right to your home.

Stop pitying him and pity your children.

THEY deserve better than this.

You can do it.

Key in door.

Ring 101.

Brave women do it all the time.

He's back, he's drinking with loud music on and trying to act like nothing is wrong.
Children have gone to grandparents for the night.
I'm alone with him

Say as little as possible this evening then.

Quietly start to make plans, but don't tell him what your intentions are. If you feel scared alone with him, please contact the police. The property is in your name, so they can remove him.

Take the stuff to your parents place. Call the police and have him evicted. It’s your home and you decide who stays there. He is abusive. Ask them to take custody of the keys.

I did anything he asked, I was so desperate

OP, you've been foolish (who hasn't) but now's the time to stop.