Second relationship ended without a word or reason, Feeling really shit right now

[wdtalm]

For context I was with my ex for 25 years, He packed a bag one day when I was at work and left, Never saw him again. Had no idea he was that unhappy because he never said anything to me, nothing in our relationship changed, still having sex a lot, still held my hand and cuddled up to me in bed etc, the night before he left we had sex, I left for work the next day and he was gone when I got home, I still don't know why he left. Almost killed me but I got over him. This was six years ago. Up until now I hadn't felt ready for another relationship.

Met a guy and we had been dating a year and a half, He knew that my ex left me without a word and how much it made me ill at the time with the constant thoughts of 'Why?' 'What did I do that was so wrong he couldn't just sit me down and tell me he was no longer happy' etc. I didn't go into it all, Just the fact he left without a word, it came up as we were talking about why we were single when we met etc. This conversation happened soon after we met so wasn't recent.

Everything was fine (Again, or so I thought) On monday we met up, went on a date, then went to a show and to a hotel in London, We came home tuesday and we were chatting on whatsapp, Five minutes later I went to reply to him and I was blocked, checked fb etc and blocked everywhere.
Again without a word or reason. We hadn't fell out, Hadn't argued, Nothing at all bad happened, Just a normal conversation.

Why do men keep leaving me without a word? Is this a thing now or just me? Can nobody sit down anymore and say 'I'm sorry but I'm no longer happy and want to go our seperate ways?' I feel like I'm not even worth a conversation or a reason why my relationships keep ending.

That's terrible! So sorry they are treating you so poorly. Please don't blame yourself though. This happened to me once from someone who pursued me hard for a long time. Just left as usual one morning and ghosted me.

Can I ask, does he suffer with depression? Sometimes an episode can cause someone to disappear and they don't have the energy to consider others feelings.

The ex I mentioned was just a dick and got bored once the chase was over. It's nothing you did. Once you get through the first couple of weeks of darkness you will feel better. When you genuinely move on, I guarantee he will rear his ugly head again.

Ah that's shitty, both times, sorry.

Men can be arseholes but no not all of us are like that, I wouldn't anyway that's just wrong. It's not you, though don't beat yourself up there will be someone decent out there.

Know it's hard but if they ghosted they weren't worth it anyway.

hun that is awful and i really feel bad for you. but just have to keep reminding yourself it is their problem not yours. it's so disrespectful and leaves you with that sense of what am i doing wrong. the answer is nothing. they have issues, not you. please don't let it put u off meeting anyone else, cos u have come across two weirdos. and guarantee ur recent one is checking u out from a second account . he is worse in my eyes as he was aware of the effect this had on you the first time. what a dick, you've had a lucky escape.

My sympathies. I was seeing a counsellor some months back because I really struggled with a couple of people in my life just blanking me (one of them being my sister.) The message was very much, it's them, not you, but I still can't help feeling there must be something about me that allows more than one person to think it's okay. It is the not knowing which is do hard. If you have a big row, you could understand, if you get told, "I just can't stand it any more when you do X"... all these things might still floor you at the time, but vanishing with no word when all seemed well really leaves you at sea. You can’t apologise or consider if you want to change something or even think, "actually, if that's really what you think, we're better off apart," because you have no clue.