How long till you go from dating to a relationship

[Fullofsurprises1]

Hey. Well probably not officially even dating. We met a few months ago. There was definitely a spark. We ended up sleeping together for the first time a month ago. We have since been out together within a group and its been lovely, ending up spending the night together. We are now going to have our first 'date' on our own at the weekend without anyone else. We message a lot and have seen each other a couple of times a week since the first hook up. Hoe long do people wait generally before deciding to be a couple. We are both on the same page already about not seeing other people.

It's been many years since I've done all of this, and I had years in a miserable relationship. Been single nearly 8 months and it's all very exciting and lovely

Id say maybe after about 3/4 months of regularly seeing each other? Hard to put an exact time frame on it but not so soon that it’s like you’ve jumped into a relationship without knowing them but also too much longer than that and you’re in a kind of unofficial relationship and not seeing other people but not actually sure what’s happening

Wishing you all the best in yiur relationship ❤️

I can't really comment as I was dating in the 80s in an era when around the time you started 'going out together' you were considered a couple unless one of you broke it off. You certainly didn't see others while dating. It took me a while to understand the new dynamic of dating, being exclusive, then boyfriend girfriend which I presume in the confusion means in a relationship. Bring back the days when young couples knew exactly where they stood from day one 😊

Yes same! It all seems so complicated these days.

Forgot to add the word official. Does this mean you can actually be dating but unofficially. The mind boggles 🤦‍♀️🤣 Thankfully in my day you were either going out together or not. I seriously dont think I could cope with relationship dynamics nowadays 🤦‍♀️🤣

👍🤣

3-6 months?

"Official" makes me gag. Who do you have to notify and do you get a certificate to make it official? Or is it only real if it's Instagram or Facebook Official?

"We're not official"
If a boyfriend of mine had announced this I'd have shown him the door 🤣

I think in my experience there is a 'are we only seeing each other' milestone pretty early on line 3-4 dates in (I can't sleep with someone for long without knowing that) and then after 1-2 months agree to be boyfriend and girlfriend. If anyone waits much longer than that then in my experience it has never become bf and gf and has fizzled out between 4-5 months

Ps op didn't mention social media

Oh god no I'm not talking about social media. I kinda meant how long from dating to relationship, we've both said last week we wouldnt see other people ( who has the time for that anyway 😂).

Then i guess the next questions is how long of being in a relationship till you tell your kids and when you do tell the kids do you introduce as a friend first or do you say your boyfriend/girlfriend straight away. I was thinking 6 months of being a couple before introducing him to my kids. He doesnt have any.

The kids dad has them a fair bit atm so I don't need to rush into them meeting and I can keep it very seperate which I like.

I think if you’re both not seeing other people and seeing each other twice a week, you’re a couple in my eyes.

Depends on the age of your kids I think, mine are 15 & 19 so I’d probably tell them I was dating after a couple of months. I wouldn’t introduce him as a friend. Younger kids I’d probably avoid mentioning a boyfriend for 4-5 months and then start to mention him in the month before they meet him. I think 6 months is a good time frame, that way you know yourself whether this is likely to be a long term relationship or not

This is a tricky one I have a baby so haven't dated yet but I wonder what will happen when I do. On the one hand you want to protect your kids from potentially meeting a stream of men if you date each one for a couple of months and break up- you want to be assured it's a good chance of being a lasting relationship first. But on the other hand, being good to and with your kids is kind of part of the criteria of deciding if they're a good fit. Imagine if you were head over heels I love after a year and find out then he's mean to children or they don't get on with him!

I think you'll be best placed to judge and the best way to meet him is out and about at park or attraction or at a family party, low pressure all round - they can interact and play but also lots of distractions. Mummy's boyfriend is ok I think. But keep him out of the cozy home setting like bedtime routine and family breakfasts etc for quite a while longer until they are used to him, as that's when he becomes part of THEIR life and home and into a more step dad figure

Everyone is different. There is no rules I don't think.

I was in the dating pool so to speak to nearly 8 years.

I was a bit worried when my ex introduced his new women to the DC within a few weeks. But they were much younger and within a few years they'd met 3 different women.

However. As I was being more cautious after leaving the abusive marriage they we're never introduced to anyone until my now DP.

Which happened by accident after 2 weeks, we were out on a date, we'd been for a meal and was driving pat my house to go down to the local pub (where we met) my eldest was babysitting and we pulled up outside the house so I could grab a jacket, when I came my out my 12 year old was having a good old natter to DP through his car window 😂 and that was that, I think it was our 7th date (we dated a lot in the early days.

We had the conversation shortly after that. He asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. We're getting married next year :)

This a difficult one and it all boils down to a personal choice.

IMO you should be dating for long enough to find out if you 'are on the same page' - to see if you're matched in work ethics, financial management, family values, temperament, life aspirations.

Then there are attitudes towards hygiene, religion, dietary preferences, politics, women's issues (including pornography) health, exercise, entertainment
.
If you have differences, can they be tolerated or are they deal-breakers?

To me 'dating' is discovery process to see whether or not you want a relationship with that person and it's a time to walk away if necessary.

If you've both agreed to not see other people, you're a couple. He's your boyfriend, you're his girlfriend. I think it's the "partner" status that takes time to develop. I usually see someone's partner as such because they live together.

In my opinion if you're not seeing other people then you're already in a relationship.

Big mistake.

Always, always ask for clarity of a relationship status. Never just assume.

Tbh op once you started sleeping with then I'd expect them to ask you to be in a relationship. It's not ideal to get to the point where you have to ask where you stand.

I'd really expect him within the next date to be asking. Otherwise, you need to ask. Because yes he might just be assuming you are together too. Or he might be stringing you along.

It sounds nice but, he needs to be clarifying where you stand.

For me relationship wise... 6 weeks to 3 months.
If I sleep with them and we keep seeing eachother then relationship discussion needs to be imminent. Within the next few times we meet.

There are men that seem great but will happily string you along. So don't let them skirt the issue.

He asked me to be his girlfriend on our second date :)

I'm guessing my relationship is faster than the norm but we were in a relationship the day after our first date and had also told each other we loved each other 😂