I've been with my partner for 18 months, both late 30s/early 40s, have children from previous relationships, and have obviously had long term relationships prior to each other.
There's been some issues I've had in the past, such as him spending and awful lot of time with his ex and their DD; he only ever really seen his DD when her mum was there, and they'd always go for long days out together most weekends with LO, who is 5.
He would bathe her and put her to bed in her mums house, and they would go out and have meals etc together. At first, I thought it was great that they made such an effort for their DD to have memories of them together, as they split when she was very young. As time went on however, and I realised he still occasionally slept at his ex's house, I became uncomfortable. Out of respect for LO, I didn't voice anything until around 6 months ago.
I asked if the relationship was definitely over, as I know he was heartbroken when they separated. He said it was, and I went with that. Over time however, I have understood his ex is not too keen on him having a new partner, and will not allow me to meet their DD. Entirely up to them, it has slowed down our relationship, but obviously not for me to push the subject, and I respect her wishes as a mother.
Today, whilst staying at his house, I was putting some washing away (both split between own properties, whilst kids aren't around), opened a drawer and found a box he must have gotten his ex for a birthday present for her 40th 3 years ago, as it had her name and birthdate in it. It even had a cake wrapper still in it. He has kept it after all these years. He is the sentimental type, keeps cards etc off close family.
Would you take him keeping a gift he got her that he sees every day in his sock drawer, so has not kept by accident, a sign he's still holding on to hope? Or am I being paranoid? I haven't broached the subject, just put our stuff in a different drawer.
Thank you.