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Original poster

Dating- what are your rules?

11 replies

Tweedlelove · 08/08/2023 22:34

So new to the dating world after 20 years! On some sites. Which seems a learning curve with many sex obsessed men so far. I have a first date lined up. So for those singletons how do you play it. How many dates till you stay over? Just intrigued as so many men seem to have sex as their main agenda? I don’t just want that although it may be nice! But not looking for marriage right now either!

OP posts:
Hivaluegirl · 09/08/2023 02:03

Men are happy to ask for sex but if women ask for money aka dates/hair/nails done it's a problem.
And no I won't mean on the dresser money I mean money to spoil you as a princess

Anyway I'm very different to a lot of modern women. I expect men to pay for dates but I don't date regularly or for no reason it will always be someone I am interested in.

Pinkbonbon · 09/08/2023 02:14

So if you're noticing a lot of men talking to you just looking for sex, that might be your first clue your profile needs a tweak. If its not what you're looking for that is. Either that or you're matching...using your fanny instead of your head xD (shirtless pics are an 'ooft' but probably not a wise swipe)

Yes there are some guys that will bring up sex early but if you're getting a ton of shuttle you don't want...it may mean there's something on your profile suggesting (in their horney little heads) that you just want casual.

Another rule of thumb- If they mention sex before you meet - that's all they are looking for.

Sex wise - just whenever you want to. Personally I'd say hold off a while unless the mood really takes you. Probably best to wait a few dates but whatever.

I personally think always kiss them on date 1 though. 2 at the latest. Because if they're a shit kisser - it's really time to go. I mean yeah, sometimes theyll improve but...do you really want to be teaching a grown man how to kiss?

As for the rest...just have fun with it!
Good luck!

myNewName21 · 09/08/2023 02:38

but...do you really want to be teaching a grown man how to kiss?

not all women are great kissers either

Pinkbonbon · 09/08/2023 02:46

myNewName21 · 09/08/2023 02:38

but...do you really want to be teaching a grown man how to kiss?

not all women are great kissers either

Didn't say they were. Not really relevant though is it. Unless op is bi.

OrangeCrayon · 09/08/2023 03:11

Hivaluegirl · 09/08/2023 02:03

Men are happy to ask for sex but if women ask for money aka dates/hair/nails done it's a problem.
And no I won't mean on the dresser money I mean money to spoil you as a princess

Anyway I'm very different to a lot of modern women. I expect men to pay for dates but I don't date regularly or for no reason it will always be someone I am interested in.

What? 🤣

Urgsleepmoresleep · 09/08/2023 03:45

@Tweedlelove i was on dating sites for a few years. There are guys who are crap at flirting and go to sex talk. If the chat beforehand was innocent and good, I would probably call them out on it if you felt flirting gone wrong. Some guys just didn’t have a clue and thought this was how you flirt. Some are just dirty old men

My process was if we click on texts let’s met soon as I don’t want a pen pal. first date is a drink or coffee to see if we get on and there is chemistry. Ask what they are looking fir too.

next few dates getting to know them. Have a kiss and cuddle and do some activities. It’s getting to know if your morals and values march.

stay over when you feel comfortable. I would wait at least for 3rd date, but it was 6th date with my current partner. In fact when he suggested I come to his area (we lived miles away) for dinner and drinks he says I could stay over in the spare room, he didn’t flirt on text I honestly thought he wasn’t interested. He said he was being a gentleman but also realised sons guys can be horrible on text so kept it pg

Original poster
Tweedlelove · 09/08/2023 08:35

Thank you for the comments. Wise advice about coffee first etc. I think my profile is ok headshots not fake or misleading. Stated honestly what I need/expect. Maybe it is that some cannot flirt. Some are full on though.

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 09/08/2023 08:44

Hivaluegirl · 09/08/2023 02:03

Men are happy to ask for sex but if women ask for money aka dates/hair/nails done it's a problem.
And no I won't mean on the dresser money I mean money to spoil you as a princess

Anyway I'm very different to a lot of modern women. I expect men to pay for dates but I don't date regularly or for no reason it will always be someone I am interested in.

I don't think you are as different as as you think. It's quite common for women to exchange sex for money, whether charging by the hour or in a paid relationship.

I'm not sure it's particularly 'modern' women who would disagree either. I think there was lots more stigma to prostitution when I was young.

SamW98 · 09/08/2023 09:05

Tweedlelove · 09/08/2023 08:35

Thank you for the comments. Wise advice about coffee first etc. I think my profile is ok headshots not fake or misleading. Stated honestly what I need/expect. Maybe it is that some cannot flirt. Some are full on though.

I think the same that some men are not very good at flirting so think ‘sexy talk’ is flirtatious when it’s actually sleazy. Same as you my profile is mainly had shots. Two full length ones. first I’m sitting in a swing chair wearing a maxi dress the second I’m wearing a shirt and trousers and I’m clear on my profile I’m not interested in casual sex but I still get the ones who want to talk sex after a few messages. I just delete, not wasting my time on overgrown boys.

Like other PP’s my first date is a coffee or couple of drinks and I always drive myself. I’ve only been doing OLD a few months so not got past the first date stage yet but as far as staying over goes, I’d say just go with your gut. We just know when it feels right - good luck.

SpringIntoChaos · 09/08/2023 09:08

Hivaluegirl · 09/08/2023 02:03

Men are happy to ask for sex but if women ask for money aka dates/hair/nails done it's a problem.
And no I won't mean on the dresser money I mean money to spoil you as a princess

Anyway I'm very different to a lot of modern women. I expect men to pay for dates but I don't date regularly or for no reason it will always be someone I am interested in.

Fucking hell!! 😩

Urgsleepmoresleep · 09/08/2023 09:59

I remember a guys flirty message was telling me he is off for a *ank and will think about me. I called him up on that and he thought it was a nice thing to say.

but my male mates who are dating say women are just as bad sending Naked pictures and dirty texts without prompting. Think it goes both ends.

just stick to what you are comfortable with. I am quite liberal when it comes to sex and not shy. But I will never send my partner a naked picture or sex text him and we have been together for ages. I just don’t like it

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