DH always threatens to break up

[LlamaMamma]

DH and I have been married 3 years. We have a daughter who is 14 months. In most arguments, if he feels like he's not 'winning' or doesn't have a valid point then he threatens to break up with phrases like "I think we are done" "I've had enough of you, I'll be better off without you" "that's the last straw, I'm moving out tomorrow morning".

The things he says it to are just trivial arguments that do not need to be escalated to break up level. For example earlier today i got annoyed at him for putting an open bag of M&Ms into my bag without closing it, it melted and would have ruined the bag had I not noticed it. I angrily told him to think before doing things and to be more careful with my belongings (no curse words, no shouting, literally just that in an angry tone). He said he's fed up of me talking to him like that and we are done (I don't get annoyed unless he does something silly like that).

Or if whilst we were trying to conceive no2 I got annoyed when, after promising me to not drink more than 3 drinks per week as our fertility doc advised, he said it's actually up to him and if he wants more he will have more. And if I complain about it he will 'get me out of his life'.

I don't want to run after him every time he threatens and in all honesty I'd be ok with losing him... but I am terrified of being separated from my daughter and not see her every day.

On other occasions he's super loving and he called me 'worlds best mum' yesterday and told me how lucky he is with me. But in arguments he can be hot headed and make threats. He's so hot headed he could actually leave.

Anyone with experience of not seeing babies this young daily, in case he does leave and we have shared custody? Anyone with experience of threatening partners? He was not at all like that before marriage.

Call his bluff I guess

But I would also try and get some marriage counselling, while it sounds that he is mainly the problem - and this really does need to be addressed - if you always get angry when he does something daft that’s not great either. If my partner put an open bag of chocolates in my bag I would point out it was daft, but I would usually be able to restrain myself from sounding angry - we all do silly things from time to time.

Slightly off topic, but that tactic would entitle the ex to half the new house as well as half the marital home

And if I complain about it he will 'get me out of his life'.

i really do not like the sound if that.

it is absolutely time to make plans to leave.

speak to a solicitor tomorrow.

Call. His. Bluff

Call the f*ckers bluff, I'm angry for you

He has the emotional intelligence of a prawn.

Stop ttc with him.

Call his bluff. Ask him to move our when he says he will!!

My ex used to do this. One day I said (and meant) you're right. This isn't working..
You should have seen the panic. The backtracking. I let it limp on for another year but in the end it was me who ended it. He was devastated..I didn't care. He was a manipulative twat.

My father was like this with my mother (but he said more horrifying things). It sounds to me like you’ve married a narcissist. His behaviour is unlikely to change independently.

Time to go. He's not a keeper, he even says so himself.

I would not stay married to a manbaby who does something as childish as this. He's trying to manipulate you and silence you. I would be telling him where the door is and filing for divorce.