Serial dater ?

[Jettinghols198]

I have a male friend, or rather acquaintance, who dates multiple women until he finds one he ‘really likes’ and is on his fourth ‘girlfriend’ but I suspect he will dump her after 3 months like he did with the previous 3 girlfriends.

I am quite out of the game when it comes to dating these days, especially online. Is this the norm now?

It is the norm for some but personally I would find it a red flag in a potential partner

I guess women do this as well ?

It's normal for people to online date multiple people until the exclusivity talk but I think a serial short term 'girlfriends' makes me think he doesn't choose carefully , too impulsive in getting together and breaking up. If he is in his 20s and 30s I'd say it's common but if he is older then it's a red flag.

In his 40s

It's not 'dating' per se but it is some people.

OLD makes it so much easier to hop from date to date now. I think people that do it just like the attention/excitement of the early days of seeing someone.

It is very common on OLD which attracts a lot of narcissists that engage in this behaviour. This has just happened to me with respect to a very respectable late 40s lawyer who had already moved on to the new person while still dating me (and a few others judging by his Instagram followers). The signs are always obvious though so such serial daters are easy to spot and leave as I did.

occhiazzurri interesting what are the signs?

Reference to multiple girlfriends over the past two years since divorce, having them on Instagram, being vague about when the previous relationships ended, initially being fairly unavailable initially (whilst likely wrapping up a previous dating situation), lots of inconsistencies and lies about time away and then nearly disappearing when what looked like a new love interest appearing on their Instagram. You can’t miss the signs over a few months!

I must be a serial dater too (older than 40). I've had "relationships" lasting from a couple of dates to a few months, with the occasional long term on thrown in.

Is that not normal for someone who hasn't found what they're looking for yet?

I know I'm not going to stay in a relationship that isn't working (but might have seemed promising in the beginning) and I'm not going to continue dating someone who I have no spark/connection with.

Sounds like your friend hasn't found what he's looking for yet and, so long as he's not being an arse about it when he ends the involvements he does get into, be that a few weeks or a few months, I see an issue there.

• don't see an issue there

I don’t know - he seems quite self involved and I think he just likes the attention, strings them along and once it starts to progress he ends it. He’s introducing this fourth one to us in a year. How can someone have so many girlfriends. He must be good in bed!

"He must be good in bed!"

Or not - if he's working through the female population like a dose of salts

This. After my first serious ended in my early 20s I dated a lot up until early 40s. If I had found someone I wanted to be with long term I would've stopped but it never happened.