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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being silly about this?

5 replies

Startagain4 · 08/08/2023 06:20

Five- year relationship ended just over 2.5 years ago, when he turned cold out of the blue, said some horrible things to me and dumped me over the phone. We have mutual acquaintances through our hobby - cycling. A few months after breakup I was added to a WhatsApp group with some of these people, about 15 in total, but he wasn't on it. Don't know if he's on another or not - don't care either as, although I wasn't myself for a long time after breakup, am in a relatively good place now.

To be honest, a lot of these people are younger than me - by about 10 years or more in some cases, however I appreciated the gesture at the time. For different reasons, I haven't got as much out of the group as I'd expected and participate only occasionally, both in the group chat/ cycling days. I'm 40s, they're all mainly 30s.

One of the gus recently posted a photo of the group with my ex in it, and it really unsettled me - probably because I haven't seen him in almost a year. I know they're entitled to meet up with him and entitled to post photos, but I really don't want to see him. I feel it's set me back a bit. I'm thinking of exiting the WhatsApp chat - or would this be a silly thing to do?

OP posts:
SorrentoLemon · 08/08/2023 06:33

I wouldn't call you silly. They're you're feelings and they shouldn't be dampened.

Kindly, it's been quite a while since you broke up, and if it's affecting you like this, would therapy be a good idea for you?

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 08/08/2023 06:39

It’s normal to feel a bit wobbly seeing a picture of an ex without warning. I wouldn’t leave the group for that reason though, assuming it was an innocent action. But it sounds like you’re looking for a reason to leave the group anyway?

TheSilentSister · 09/08/2023 00:19

It was a bit of a shock to you but now it's over and it's up to you if you stay in the group/group chat. Simple as.

Mmhmmn · 09/08/2023 00:24

Would muting the chat help so you only see it (and therein potentially see pics of him or contributions from him) when you're prepared to see it?

continentallentil · 09/08/2023 00:27

See how you feel in a week - it might just be the surprise

It would be a shame to leave a hobby group for this

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