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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How soon before you move in together…

39 replies

Flutterbye22 · 07/08/2023 21:35

What would you say is the best time frame before considering moving in together?

personally speaking, I think this changes as you get older…

I would say 8-12 months is a good amount of time before progressing to the next stage.

what does everyone else think?

OP posts:
Notamum12345577 · 07/08/2023 23:13

Simonjt · 07/08/2023 22:18

We did just shy of a year, he was staying for the night when we my son got a cough at the very start of covid, so due to the rules at the time he had to isolate with us for 14 days. He never left 😊

If you were obeying the rules, at the very start of Covid he shouldn’t have been in your house anyway. The ‘bubbles’ didn’t come along until a bit later 😉😉

DramaAlpaca · 07/08/2023 23:14

We moved in together after six months. We'd been friends for a couple of years and when we got together we both knew it was for keeps. We got engaged six months after that, married a year later. That was 33 years ago and we're still very happy.

Notamum12345577 · 07/08/2023 23:15

Flutterbye22 · 07/08/2023 21:35

What would you say is the best time frame before considering moving in together?

personally speaking, I think this changes as you get older…

I would say 8-12 months is a good amount of time before progressing to the next stage.

what does everyone else think?

After marriage. Also in my opinion if a couple isn’t thinking seriously about marriage by the time they have been together 2 years……

grestiuc · 07/08/2023 23:30

I moved in with DH after we got married, we'd been together for 5 years. I had a dc from a previous relationship so it was important that it was a fully committed relationship and I felt sure he was the right person for me and my family. It worked for us.

Morewineplease10 · 07/08/2023 23:37

Never! (For me!)

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2023 23:42

We were 4 months.
But 29 and 36, no kids, made it clear I expected commitment and a ring on it.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2023 23:44

Notamum12345577 · 07/08/2023 23:15

After marriage. Also in my opinion if a couple isn’t thinking seriously about marriage by the time they have been together 2 years……

Why would you move in AFTER marriage? Even if you don't believe in sex before marriage, have separate rooms. But at least know if you can live with him

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2023 23:45

grestiuc · 07/08/2023 23:30

I moved in with DH after we got married, we'd been together for 5 years. I had a dc from a previous relationship so it was important that it was a fully committed relationship and I felt sure he was the right person for me and my family. It worked for us.

Happy it worked for you but weren't you concerned things would arise from living together that had never come up with him going home every night?

Notamum12345577 · 08/08/2023 00:00

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2023 23:44

Why would you move in AFTER marriage? Even if you don't believe in sex before marriage, have separate rooms. But at least know if you can live with him

That puts a lot of temptation in the way though 😁

justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/08/2023 00:03

We where 4 months. We where absolutely mental though and head over heels and decided to try for a baby first then got lucky first time and moved in not long after BFP. Years later we have 2 beautiful DC and are more in love and happier than ever. Wouldn't change a thing.

Looking back I realise how mental we are actually where 🤣🙈

grestiuc · 08/08/2023 00:35

@SleepingStandingUp Honestly no, I knew him well after 5 years and that was good enough. Sure there are more things I've learned after living together, but essentially the main thing is that he's a decent person and I didn't have to live together to know that. I would also have lost out financially if we'd lived together, without the security of marriage, so it wasn't something I was prepared to do without being married.

clpsmum · 08/08/2023 01:34

Ever ever again for me! I'm 46

catin8oots · 08/08/2023 02:28

Doggymummar · 07/08/2023 21:41

We were three years, but I'm thrice divorced and more careful nowadays

3 divorces. That's wild? Are you still optimistic about marriage?

Simonjt · 08/08/2023 02:34

Notamum12345577 · 07/08/2023 23:13

If you were obeying the rules, at the very start of Covid he shouldn’t have been in your house anyway. The ‘bubbles’ didn’t come along until a bit later 😉😉

He was visiting our flat the day the rules were announced.

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