Are we incompatible or is it me?

[Lm4065]

I have a fearful avoidant attachment style. The challenge I have is knowing when to call it quits. I have been seeing someone for a few weeks and it became clear pretty early on that he was an arrogant guy. He even admitted to me he is ‘arrogant’, ‘likes the sound of his own voice’ and ‘has a superiority complex’. I have noticed he has subtlety spoken down to me a couple of times (about my job and the area in which I live). We are both early 30s, he does have lots of good qualities and ticks a lot of boxes for me.
However, my instinct is to break it off as we are not compatible. However, I’m unsure if this is my attachment style looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship. I basically want to be super sure before I break it off. How do you know when it’s truly not right?
Does it sound like I’m just looking for an ‘out’? Should I give it more time and try and see past this? Thanks for any advice

Well, he wouldn't be of interest to me.

A self proclaimed arrogant man with a superiority complex? What a treat!

However, I would also say there's often no difference between an issue of compatibility and whether it's him or you. Whether it's him or whether it's you, you're incompatible. You would both likely find people you are entirely compatible with.

Some women like arrogant aresholes! 🤷🏻‍♀️

So he's spoken down to you a few times and you want to stay with him?

Listen to your inner voice

This is not a good man. He has the arrogance to announce his arrogance.

Throw him back

Listen to your instinct to break it off.

Always trust your instincts.

It's only been a few weeks and he's already talking down to you? How do you expect things will be in a year's time?

I think you should spend less time thinking about your attachment style and more on learning about red flags etc.
It's worrying that you would doubt yourself here due to your 'attachment style'.

“ it became clear pretty early on that he was an arrogant guy. He even admitted to me he is ‘arrogant’, ‘likes the sound of his own voice’ and ‘has a superiority complex’. I have noticed he has subtlety spoken down to me a couple of times”

“Does it sound like I’m just looking for an ‘out’? Should I give it more time and try and see past this? ”

Yes, and no. You’re not “looing for an out” – he’s showing you why you should get out. You think he’s arrogant. He comes across as having a superiority complex. You’ve picked up on him negging you.

It doesn’t matter what attachment style you have. His behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable and that’s all you need to know – he’s not the guy for you. The right guy won’t make you feel like this. The right guy for you won’t exhibit this behaviour in the first place.

If you try to make this work you’ll just feel miserable with him in the long run.

All that's going on here is your instincts have picked up on, and are telling you why he's not the right guy for you. Nothing to do with attachment styles.