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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Crush - work colleague

7 replies

Qwert12356 · 06/08/2023 23:27

Just that- crush on a married colleague. I am married too. I wouldn’t try anything because of my family, and frankly, who has time for an affair when working full time and has a young child. I don’t think he’s even aware or interested. It’s not some all-consuming crush, and frankly, it’s not even about him, as he’s not some great catch. I work in a difficult job, and he’s one of the few normal people there you can chat with—any advice?

OP posts:

MollysBrolly · 06/08/2023 23:59

Try to stay away from him unless absolute necessity and then only talk about biting work issues.

Dint tell anyone in real life it'll open a can of unnecessary worms

Masterofhappydays · 07/08/2023 00:08

I could have written this.
I just do what pp advises, stay away. If any thoughts about him enter my mind, I don’t indulge them, I instead try to focus on something else.

No idea why I feel the way I do. My marriage is great, my crush doesn’t even tick any of my boxes in what I look for in a partner either. So weird!

You seem very sensible OP. I just think sometimes we meet people whose vibrations/energy/chemistry align with ours and we’re just drawn to them?

Narjilla · 07/08/2023 00:48

People find the time for an affair, even a US president found the time.

You need to avoid this man and stop indulging fantasies. Then focus on improving your life.

Original poster

Qwert12356 · 07/08/2023 06:32

Thank you for your advice. I do stay away plus we are only in the office a couple of days a week. I just don’t want to feel like this. It’s just stupid as objectively he’s really not that great.

OP posts:

whatrthechances · 07/08/2023 08:54

I'm going through this at the moment and it's driving me insane I can't get thoughts of my crush out of my mind to the point where I'm not sleeping properly. I'm 45 years of age ffs and feel like a stupid obsessive teenager
it's pathetic at my age.
My crush is not a work colleague but a neighbour who lives close by. He's a few years older than me and appears to be totally unaware of my feelings and I don't think he'd be interested anyway to be honest.
I have a great dp and 2 dcs together but still thoughts of my crush are consuming my every moment. I'm actually wondering if it's a peri menopausal hormonal thing why I'm feeling this way? I've known crush guy about 5 years now but these feelings have only just developed over the past couple of months as I've been chatting to him more and got to know him a bit better. we just have so much in common and very similar interests we've become very good friends as a result of our similar interests and unfortunately my crush has developed. arrrgh why has this had to happen. I don't want to lose his friendship and cut him off but think I may have to because of my crush.

Ontobetterthings · 07/08/2023 09:43

Completely distance yourself otherwise it will get worse

Rockyroad101 · 07/08/2023 19:20

I think we’ve all been here! I recon stay well away from him as much as you can, and hopefully it’ll be a case of out of sight out of mind. Just remember, whatever it is you are finding attractive about him, in real life, he could be a much different person to who he is at work.

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