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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting more and more frustrated with DH

2 replies

strawthatbrokethecamelsback · 06/08/2023 21:33

DH and I have been together for 12 years. We have 4 year old DT’s. Our journey to become parents has been really hard, followed by a very complicated pregnancy and then a stay in NICU.

I feel like having twins has nearly broken us, but I’m finding that he’s got less and less patience with them. One of my DT’s has been poorly on and off, sometimes very seriously poorly which has taken its toll on us. The same DT pushes every single boundary she can. She is very loving, funny, bright and has personality oozing out of her. But she is into everything, she has a radar for what she shouldn’t touch.

For instance today she was stood on a stool at the sink with the wire scourer in her hand. DH told her to put it back a couple of times, she didn’t listen, so he then starts shouting at her - but it’s not just this one instance, he has less and less patience with them. To diffuse the situation I went up to her and asked her if she could describe what it felt like, she did really well and accurately said how it felt in her hands. She was then happy to put it back - she’s just very curious.

I got very annoyed with DH and told him to just go out for a run as he clearly wasn’t enjoying being in the house with us. I then went out with DT’s and the dog to do some blackberry picking. We all had a lovely time.

separating really isn’t an option and I honestly don’t feel as though we are at that point, but how do I make him see that whilst discipline and rules are important, he’s making himself and me miserable with his constant moaning.

OP posts:
NevMama · 03/02/2024 22:40

I just came across your post as I’m facing something similar and wondered how you were getting on?
I feel like my DH doesn’t have a good ‘way’ with him either when disciplining the kids. It all sounds too harsh of a tone which then means I have to fix not only their original issue but then also the fact they’re annoyed that their dad has been cross with them … I would rather have just the one issue to fix at a time 😊

Bluenotgreen · 03/02/2024 22:44

Would he consider counselling?

I have lived with an Angry Man. It was horrible and it didn’t get any better, it just got worse.

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