Messaging an other women

[Sadattimes]

Things haven’t been great with my partner for a while. His behaviours are unpredictable. A lot of small things happening which he could never account for. He drinks too much, let’s me down a lot.

Yesterday I had the overwhelming urge to check his phone. He’s been messaging another woman. I couldn’t read too much for the fear of being caught, but he messages her when he’s drunk mainly, telling her she’s “hot as fuck”, he’s in his 50’s fgs! They also were discussing holidays and he told her a recent holiday WE were on, he was with his friends. So denying our relationship basically!

I feel very disrespected and sad at the thought he feels the need to seek validation in others when I need to fight for the slightest bit of attention from him. I often message him and am met with a wall of silence for hours.

suppose I’m looking for a hand hold and advice on whether I should end things. Or whether I should try to read the full conversation, looks like it’s been going on months. Will it make me feel any better?

In the bin.

End it now, OP.

He could have chosen to work on his relationship with you, but he has not - in fact he's doing quite the opposite. Never stay with a man who will treat you with contempt.

Ending it will hurt, no doubt. You will hurt more if you allow this loser to continue to chip away at your self-worth, which is exactly what will happen if you stay.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this 💐

@AllSewnUp you’re right. I keep trying to downplay the situation as “nothings happened between them” but the fact of the matter is he’s going out his way to flirt with this woman, deny our relationship effectively. And it’s not a bit of flirting in the pub, he’s brought it home. Probably testing the water to see where he stands to see if could be more. My trust is gone, I feel sad and like I’m not enough

I’m sorry to say but I think the relationship is over. I doesn’t really matter if you try read more of the messages because either way, he’s betrayed you. Doesn’t matter if he only does it when he’s drunk, he’s made this other person believe he’s single and he’s enjoying acting like that.

What you do next is tough, it’s always so easy for people online to say walk away and I bet you’d say it if it was happening to your friend. It’s not as easy when it’s your life. It will be hard, especially if you have a lot of financial connections but you deserve to feel enough for someone. You don’t deserve this idiot messaging other women behind your back.

@Hiddenvoice i spoke with my adult DD tonight. Not about what I found, just about the relationship generally. She said she would have been long gone. She says I’m trying to hold on to how things used to be but it’s not been right for months. I just need to work up the courage to do it.

you’re right I don’t need to read any of the other messages. What I have seen should be enough teamed with his questionable behaviour that I’ve endured for months.