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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH says he can't trust me

5 replies

Plussizemummy · 27/02/2008 18:24

We had DD's naming ceremony on Friday. A mutual friend of ours who is also a friend of my ex husband attended. He told me that my ex husband wanted to speak to me to congratulate me on our new arrival and then asked if he could call him. I said that I didn't feel that it was appropriate and that my ex husband has my telephone number and could call me himself if he wished. Unknown to me, this conversation was recorded on camera. DH saw it a couple of days ago and announced this morning that he feels he can't trust me anymore because I indicated that I still wanted contact with my ex. I explained that having just given birth to our daughter 12 days ago that nothing could be further from the truth. DH has since spent the day pretending that everything is FINE, but I know him well enough to know that this is still weighing heavily on his mind. I feel that he's being really unfair, because not only would I never cheat on him, but now is the time that I need his support most. DD is our first baby and I'm struggling to cope with motherhood as it is. Think that DH is being really selfish by banging on about the whole trust thing at the moment. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?

OP posts:
warthog · 27/02/2008 18:39

the timing is everything. after the birth of a baby your worlds are turned upside down. not enough sleep is enough to drive anyone round the wall. i put this down to baby shock and would just let him work through it. as hurtful as he's being, he'll realise soon enough that he's being a bit of a dick.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 27/02/2008 18:41

I think calling him a dick is a bit harsh.

He is feeling insecure as most new parents do

I suggest you need to talk to him and make it clear that you had no desire to talk to your ex. Do you have kids with your ex? If so, then you will have to talk but if not, he can send a card.

Freckle · 27/02/2008 18:42

Not sure how he views this as you wanting contact. You declined the friend's request to call your ex and merely indicated that, if the ex wanted to contact you, he had your number. Very neutral if you ask me.

Agree that 12 days after the birth of your first child is not really the time for rational thinking and hopefully he will eventually realise that he is being very unfair and not a little stupid.

OatcakeCravings · 27/02/2008 18:42

Hmmm I might be in a bit of a bad mood tonight BUT your husband is being a twat, FFS he must have a charmed life if he has the time to turn something of nothing into this drama!

OverMyDeadBody · 27/02/2008 18:48

I agree with oatcake tbh, even if you did want to keep in contact with an ex, so what? It doesn't mean you want to jump into bed with him.

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