Confused and looking for advice

[Red2curls]

I've been in a relationship for 9 years, we have a child together who's nearly 7 and I have a child from a previous relationship.
A couple of years ago my partner told me things weren't good with finances (pay day loans etc) he sorted this by getting an IVA.
Last year he finally realised he was alcohol dependent and it was getting worse.
Over the years I've supported him through every hobby/ ambition. His financial issues and then have tried to help him with his alcoholism. A couple of months ago he admitted his mental health was suffering and he wanted to end his life. I pleaded with him to see his GP.
We went on our first family holiday abroad together, his behaviour was awful, he was jealous, angry, and isolated himself away. He says since it was mental health that made him act that way. His since gone to the GP and started meds and counselling.
He then lost his job due to the amount of sickness he's taken over the last year.
I decided I couldn't take anymore and asked him to leave. I then felt guilty, we talked and he made promises he'd change. He tried for a week or so but is now drinking again and stopped looking for work. He's stopped trying to make our relationship work stating I'm better off without him, I could do better etc and plans to move an hour and half away with his parents.
I feel angry and upset that he doesn't even want to try. What do I do? Do I try? Do I forgive him? Or just let him go and raise the kids on my own?

Honestly id let him go. Hes tried but he loves alcohol more than you unfortunately

hes got alcohol issues
Hes taking out payday loans behind your back….payday loans ffs!
he’s controlling and has anger issues
currently no job

time apart might do him good and make some changes to be a better father and you will have dodged a bullet

@Red2curls try and read your post back and imagine if that was your daughter writing it. What advice would you give? You are asking whether you should you beg a man to stay with you, a man who is an alcoholic, who is still drinking, who is in debt, who has lost his job, who gets angry and makes no effort to change? It is classic manipulation as well for him for him to say you are better off without him, because that makes you then want to cling on and take him back in the sorry state he’s in and just be grateful he’s there. Why would you even want this man back in your life, in your kids life?

Let him go and raise your kids on your own.

Being a rescuer and or saviour in a relationship never works as you have too clearly seen.

You have also been his codependent partner in this relationship and that is unhealthy for you, deal with these issues through seeking therapy for your own self.

Thanks everyone, the idea of going it alone is a scary one but needs to be done.

Let him go; you’ll be much better off without him

He won't change so let him go. It will be hard but if you think about it you are practically a single mum already.

It's best he moves out not so you can find someone better but so that there is more stability and calmness in the household. When he is better his child and step child can visit for a day or half a day.
This man is very troubled, you are taking it personally but he is fighting a beast this man is suicidal and is battling addiction, he never found his peace or place in the world, this is far bigger than your relationship, this man is very troubled and unhappy, you need to let him go and focus on him being in your child's life in a meaningful and healthy way. Do not date any other men after him, focus on raising your kids and healing your boundaries that made you accept such a man to begin with.

But on the other hand you won't be having to deal with his problems with debt, his alcoholism, his mental health issues, his behaviour (as displayed on your holiday), his inability to hold down a job...

You will have far less to worry about when it is just you and your dc.

Let him go. He can’t change even for a week. He’ll always chose alcohol over you and the kids. Yes it’s scary, bloody scary going it alone but you can do it.

I did it 18 months ago and I’m so much happier (if a bit skint!) now. Main thing is my DD is far happier. But actually if he’s not earning and drinking that much you’ll be better off financially as well.

You need to walk away from him. It's not good for you or your children.

I've recently moved to a village about 5 miles or so from where I lived previously. I was served a section 21 no fault notice from my previous address and rentals are sky high and in huge demand. On moving my partner of 8 years who persuaded me to move to the village in the first place decided we weren't going to work and has since started going on dates and is looking for somewhere else to live. I work full time in a busy job and have just been told my school application for my 6 year old has been rejected and they are already way over class sizes.
I'm now faced with having to choose another local school with a 8 mile there and back twice a day or move again and keep my child at the previous school. (if I can I signed a 12 month tenancy agreement).
I need some advice please

I'm confused about the timeline. Did you move after you posted previously about leaving him?

No before