My ex and I split at the beginning of the year, instigated by him as he said he didn’t love me anymore. I suspected another woman, he denied it, we have one very young DC together.
To cut a very long story short, since the split he has gaslit me horrendously, lied at every opportunity, of course it turned out I was right about OW which he still denies and tries to maintain that they started seeing each other more recently, due to timings and circumstances I know this to be untrue. He has treated me with such disdain and cruelty since the split that there’s still a part of me finds it surreal that he’s actually done those things, i always knew there were red flags even since the beginning which I unfortunately ignored, but his treatment of me over the past few months is just not normal.
I have thankfully reached a place where I no longer miss ex or want to be with him but I am really struggling with the sense of injustice I feel, I won’t go too deeply into it but he has put OW before our DC on several occasions, tried to make out to people that I am limiting his contact with DC (I have never done this and never will) and now all of his family (that were part of my family up until a relatively recent time) are congratulating him on his “new” relationship, some of them commenting how much better OW is than me which I obviously find hurtful.
He has introduced her to our DC without telling me then lied about it, either ignores me or becomes defensive and aggressive if I speak to him about it so I no longer bother as I won’t argue in front of DC.
I feel as if he wants to erase me as the mother of our DC, he notoriously can’t do things alone and is very codependent and his behaviour is like he is getting OW to immediately step into role of other parent when he has DC, he won’t take into account anything I say regarding DC, he almost actively wants to oppose me at every chance he gets.
If we didn’t have DC I would be completely over this by now, but I find having to see him and communicate with him extremely triggering as his emotional abuse (there is a lot of historic stuff as well) feels like it will never end, his family are just as bad and just as cruel and I feel so helpless that this is what I’m going to have to deal with for the foreseeable future.
If I had the money I would genuinely pay someone to be a go between so I would never have to physically see him or his family again as I find it so triggering and it makes me so angry and frustrated but sadly I don’t have that capability.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this kind of thing? Will it get better?